Junkhead

It's Never Too Late to Say You're Sorry

"I'm scared," Layne muttered insecurely.  He kept his eyes fixated on the car window, watching as the buildings flew by him.  His heart skipped a beat when he felt Briana's hand squeeze his.

"Don't be," she started.  "He'll probably be ecstatic to see you.  I mean, its been 3 months."

Layne turned to her, gulping down his nerves as he analyzed her.  She had her hair pulled back in a pony tail and barely any make-up on.  Still, she looked amazing. He shook his head, forcing himself to think about his friend again.

"When I left, he wasn't too happy with me," Layne finally said.  His heart dropped to his stomach as he took in Jerry's house.  His red pick-up truck was there.  "Damnit, I was hoping he'd gone out...  Fucking home-body..." Layne grunted quietly to himself.

Briana giggled, eyeing him.  "Geeze, Layne, don't act too excited."

He sighed.  "Are you fucking super woman or something?"

She gave him a weird look.  "Uh...no."

He smirked.  "Just wondering, considering you seem to have SUPER HEARING."

She rolled her eyes as she unbuckled her seat belt.  "You whisper loud," she commented, grinning.

"That's an oxymoron if I've ever heard of one," Layne moaned.  He laughed with her as they both started walking up to the front porch.

Layne puffed out air of anxiety.  He forced a shaky hand to knock on the door.  His eyes darted back over to Briana, noticing that she just stood there with a smirk on her face.

"Well, he isn't answering," Layne blurted, quickly turning around.

"Yes he is," a deep voice groaned.

Layne's eyes grew wide, turning back to see Jerry glaring at him.  He fidgeted with his leather jacket pocket, lighting a cigarette as he took in Jerry's presence.  He was simply standing there, arms crossed as if ready to hear bullshit spew out of Layne's mouth.  His eyes were red and he stunk of skunk weed.

"Hey, Jer..." Layne muttered nervously.  He scratched an itch on his scalp, eyes slanting towards Briana.  She had her brows raised, nodding towards Jerry.  "Uh," Layne continued awkwardly.  He had his eyes planted on his shoes.  "Long time, no see..."

"Well, you look good, L," Jerry growled.  His voice gushed with suspiciousness.  "Did you switch to alcohol again?  Or something different?"

Before Layne could respond, Briana stepped up.  She had a sweet smile tugged on her face.  "He's been clean of everything for two months now," she said.

Jerry raised a brow at her.  "You sure about that?  He's FANTASTIC at pulling the wool over people's eyes."  He glared pointedly back at Layne, eyeing him up and down.

Layne's brow curled in dismay.  He had to keep his gaze on Briana.  Looking at Jerry just made him want to get high.

"I'm positive, Jerry," Briana went on.  "I slowly tapered him off opiates."  She squeezed Layne's hand.  "He's been staying with me.  I don't have any mind-altering substances in my house."

Jerry looked impressed.  He tilted his head at her, curiosity taking over.  "You look familiar, have we met before?"

Briana nodded, grabbing his hand and shaking it.  "I'm Briana.  I work at the hospital Layne was staying at.  I was one of his nurses."

Jerry smiled, giving Layne a look.  "She's really pretty, L."  He turned back to her, a shit-eating grin splattered on his face.  "What the fuck are you doing with an ugly dog like Layne?"

"Fuck you," Layne spat.  The both of them laughed, though.

Jerry opened his house door more, gesturing his arm inside.  "Come on in, let's catch up."

*******
*******

Briana explained in detail to Jerry about how she was helping Layne to stay sober.  Afterwards, though, when she noticed Layne's eyes begin to sadden, she knew that him & Jerry needed time alone to talk things out.  So she excused herself from the conversation & headed outside to check out Jerry's yard & smoke cigarettes.

Right when Jerry was about to pack a bowl & toke up, Layne squeezed his arm, a pleading look on his face. 

"Please, Jer...  Not infront of me," he muttered.  His eyes were ravenous as he glared at the lime-green crystaly reefer.  It even had purple hairs on it.  He wet his lips, trying to stop himself from salivating.

Jerry sighed & nodded, sliding his glass pipe back into the compartment of his coffee table.  "I'm glad you at least know your triggers now, Layne," Jerry said.  He swiped his long blond hair away from his face, scanning Layne's morbid expression.

Layne bit back tears.  He had to look away from his best friend.  His brother.  "I'm really sorry..." he slurred out, eyes jotting back to glare into his.  A fat tear rolled down his face.  "I'm sorry for everything, Jer.  You didn't deserve all of the crap I put you through...  You're the only friend in my life that actually gave a shit and tried to understand and I--" he paused for a moment, wiping tears away from his face.  "I just kept pushing you away..."

Jerry sighed and lit one of his red's.  He couldn't help but to squeeze Layne's shoulder.  "I'm just glad you're okay.  You scared the shit out of me when you left," he bit back his own tears and turned away from his friend.  "Sean & I were planning on finding you dead this year..."

"Oh my God I'm sorry," Layne whimpered, now sobbing.  His eyes were glued to Jerry's marijuana pipe.  His skull was pounding.  Before his mind could come up with excuses to relapse, he forced himself up out of the couch.  "I can't stay in here, Jer," he said suddenly, eyeing the concern on his friend's face.  "The...drugs...  I don't want to relapse again."

Jerry nodded, opening up the door and getting Layne to follow him outside.  He sat down on one of the porch chairs, scratching his brow as he continued to analyze how healthy Layne looked.  He was the healthiest he had ever seen him in the past 12 years.  It amazed him.

"I just wanted you to know that I'm really sorry," Layne continued.  "I'm sorry about lying to you.  About using you..." He gulped back his nerves, eyes squeezed shut.  "...about Nicky..."

Jerry sighed.  "It's fine, Layne.  You were sick," he took another drag from his smoke, smiling over at Briana who was standing near his flower garden.  "Too bad about Nicky, though..."

"Yeah, I saw her a couple weeks ago," Layne muttered, picking at his thumbs.  His eyes teared up.  "She looked fucking horrible...  I'm hoping she gets her shit together."

Jerry's brow curled in concern.  "You don't know what happened, do you...?"

Layne's eyes got wide as he turned to glare at his best friend.  His heart stopped.  "What do you mean..."

"She died three days ago."