Together with Difference - ON HOLD-

Chapter 10: Helplessness to Reconciliation

Yazka's POV

Two weeks have passed and I was still unable to get him out of my mind. I couldn't anything properly in those two weeks. And most importantly, what bothered me the most was that I didn't hear from him even once. It's more like he got over me and never loved me. Sigh.

It was weekend and I had nothing to do. Zuha was busy with her mom so I couldn't dare to ask her to go for a walk with me. Thus, I planned to stay at home, watching movies and reading stories on Wattpad. I wateched Greys Anatomy season 11 and I was so heartbroken when Derek Shepherd died. I mean he was my favorite character. I didn't want to watch it anymore so I kept my laptop away and took my phone to check face book.

I was welcomed by a very unpleasant message from Maazin. I was glad to an extent when he messaged me since I know that he didn't get over me. But getting a message from such a jerk would never be a pleasant thing. "Yazka, I can't wait anymore. I am going to approach to your parents tomorrow. Mom and Dad will come tomorrow and I'll ask them to call your parents."

I was surprised. Indeed very surprised. I haven't even thought about getting married and here he is planning to speak to my parents who would probably agree since they are even talking about getting me married. Sigh.

Out of pure despair I messaged him "Do I get a say in this?" which was left seen-zoned by him. Ya Allah, please show me the right path.

I planned of reciting Isthikhara to see if this is something good. Isthikhaara prayer is a prayer which we offer to god to before doing something to see whether it is a good thing. I went to toilette and did my ablution. I came out and dried my face and hands and took my prayer mat after which I offered Isthikhaara prayer. I prayed to god and asking him to bless me and never leave me in any harm, for he is the one who would protect us when we are in complete hopelessness.

After praying, I wanted to sleep although I knew sleeping wouldn't be one easy task right now. But then again, I had no other choice as I didn't want to face anyone. I changed to my PJ's and climbed to my very comfy bed and covered my whole body with the quilt. I changed the temperature of the AC to 25 degree Celsius and took my pillow and hugged it. Although I tried to sleep really hard, I couldn't since my mind was filling with so many Maazin-thoughts. It was hard, very hard

I had so many dreams, I wanted to study, I wanted to physique a carrier on my own, and I wanted to make a name for myself. I wanted to earn for myself and travel with my best friend. I wanted to be distinguished psychologist who treats all sorts of mental illness. I wanted to be appreciated. I never wanted to be someone who was looked after by her husband. With all these thoughts, tears started streaming down my cheeks and later wetting my pillow. I wish Maazin ever knew all this. But right now, there won't be anyone who would listen to me since Mom and Dad believes that a girl should get married right after she gets 18 years old and within 2 days I will be. Sigh.

I was lying down on the grass which was perfectly grown in my mom's rose garden. I was gazing at the flawless night sky and counting the twinkling stars. Such a beautiful sight, it was. After a while, I felt somebody lying next to me and holding my hands. I turned to find Maazin next to me. A smile formed in my face which was real. I moved to his side and kept my head in his arms. I felt secured, loved and happy. "Darling, I would love you for the rest of my life. You're the pretties thing I have ever seen" Maazin said while crunching my lips into a wild kiss. It felt so right at the moment. i kissed him with much desperateness like it was something I needed. "I love you too honey." We stayed like that until we feel asleep. We were woken up from the light rays of the sun that hit our eyes. I rubbed my eyes to see pillows next to me.

So it was a dream. A beautiful dream. Probably it was God's answer for my Isthikhara. So, it was positive. I will have to agree on this marriage after keeping my trust on god. He won't let me down, I was sure.

It was surprising that mom didn't call me for Fajr prayer, probably she couldn't wake up. I took my phone to check the time and it was already 9 am. Since it was a Sunday, I didn't bother much about the time, since I don't have to go to school and I could do everything in my own pace.

After about 15 minutes, I went to toilette to take a shower. After dressing up, I headed downstairs to have breakfast. I saw mom and dad in a very serious conversation. When they saw me coming, they asked me to sit next to them in the couch.

"Yazka darling, a very renowned person called to get your hand in his son's marriage. He is Mr.Ibrahim, the owner of one of the famous hotel chains in UK. His son is also studying in Oxford University and is pretty good in studies. I think this is the very right time to do this and I believe that this is a golden opportunity. They wanted it to happen in the earliest, so we have agreed on keeping the engagement in two days. I know it would be hard to take, but it will be fine." My dad spoke everything, and none of that was surprise for me. I was ready to face it so I nodded giving them a smile. I wasn't really interested; neither can I say that I was disinterested.

......................................................................................................

It was the day of my engagement. The main color was blue, but I preferred Turquoise since it has always been my favorite color. I got a white top which had lace on it, and a turquoise Maxi skirt along with a black hijab. Sister Asmaara and Zuha helped me in getting ready. I didn't want to apply much make up, but I applied baby pink lipstick and red colored blush on my cheeks. That was it for me. Asmaara sister gave me a lot of advices on marriage which I didn't really listen to since I was thinking about Maazin. Yes, Maazin! That guy has totally captured my mind. After I was done, dressing up, sister Asmaara went downstairs to.

After a while, I heard a car being parked in our house and when I peeked out from the window it was them. Maazin, being the handsome guy he is, looked extra hansome. He wore a blue shirt and a black trouser along with a black blazer which made him look so official. And his mom, she looked so young and pretty. I was determined to never look at him.

After a while, mom and sister Asmaara came to get me. I took the engagement ring that I have gotten for him. Zuha wanted to stay in the room so we went downstairs and I felt everyone looking at me. I never liked being the center of attention, and so, I started feeling self-conscious. Maazin's mom came and hugged me tightly and she started praising me.

After a while our engagement ceremony began. I made Maazin wear the ring I made for him while he made me wear the ring he made for me. It was pretty with an infinity sign on it.

We had a good time together. I liked his mom although I didn't like him much. Well, I think I don't.

After, dinner they went to home and Zuha dragged me to my room. I knew she had something to speak. "What happened Yazu, why did you suddenly agree to get married to that jerk?" She asked with thousands of question marks on her face. "Well, I did Isthikhara and the answer came out positive. Besides, that guy got desperate and he made his parents talk to my parents who were already wanting me to get married. So this happened!". I said. "Oh. But I am very happy for you. MY BEST FRIEND IS GETTING MARRIED! And remember! If he ever hurt you, you should tell me, I will be there to kick his ass off and cut his penis into small parts and feed it to my dog!" "Hold on there Yazu, do you even own a dog?" I asked breaking into fits of laughter. "If that happens, I will surely buy a dog." She said with a determined look. "Oh and yes, tonight I am sleeping with you and mom agreed on that. So let's have a girls night, shall we?"

I was so glad to have her by my side. Best friend goals achieved.

Salaam everyone

i am so sorry for the late update, but i have been very busy the whole day. it's already 1 am here, and i am dozing off, but i didn't want to upset you guys without  updating.

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Thank you for reading. you all are amazing.

May Allah bless you <3