The Adventures of James Dean.

1.

[The story you are about to read is intended for readers age 18+ due to its sexual content and language. It may not be appropriate for all audiences. Please read at your own discretion.]

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Not all adventures begin on a train.

But mine did. I call it an adventure because there's no other way to describe it, really. It was a journey, a profound series of events with a whole lot of craziness along the way. I didn't anticipate or predict what ultimately became my story, but then the real beauty of life, always comes from the unknown. That's what it said in my Chinese cracker, anyway. I'm not the most philosophical guy. I prefer to take each day as it comes.

Now, exciting things happen to me all the time. I'm chief designer for Radspace, we specialise in those eye popping, jaw dropping billboards and commercials that have you reaching for your wallet quicker than a lightning flash. In my line of work, I get to luxuriate on yachts and brush shoulders with celebrities, and in my time I've had my fair share of week long benders. Ibiza, Rio, Las Vegas, Amsterdam....I could go on, but you get the picture. At thirty three, everyone around me seems to be conforming to that age old stereotype. You hit thirty and your biological clock starts a-drilling. Mine never has. Take this particular morning for example. I'm sitting on the subway, watching some snot nosed kid whine at his poor, exhausted father the whole way. The guy looked worse than those soldiers I've seen in World War Two documentaries, spending weeks in trenches. He was worn down to the bone. Poor Bastard. I thought about offering a comforting word, but we lived in different worlds, never likely to over lap in the vast, monstrous Venn diagram of life. So I pitied the guy, and prayed his stop came soon before I lost my mind.

Screaming, whining, loud kids are not my thing. I'd rather stick searing hot pokers in my eyes.

The brat got off with his downcast father and I caught the look the man gave me. There I was, suited and booted, no wedding ring, and that weightless aura that only a happily single guy could emanate. He was envious. For a brief moment he imagined himself in my designer Italian loafers, checking my Rolex watch. Or maybe he just wondered why a guy like me chose to take the train.

Truth is, I didn't start off this way. I liked to stay grounded, having worked with many assholes who came from money and acted like they owned the whole cosmos. We lived hand to mouth as kids, and I swore the first chance I got I was gonna be somebody, and that determination became so ingrained it was almost a religion. My Dad deserved more than the hand he was dealt. A factory worker his whole life, he worked himself into the ground, and at fifty years of age I appreciated what he'd done for us. His struggles in life have left him arthritic and downtrodden but I do what I can for him now. Being a teenage dad of two twins, myself and my sister Jen, he didn't do the whole education thing. Instead, he slaved over diapers and bottles in the evening while my grandma took care of us during the day. You're probably wondering where my mother was, I wondered the same as a kid, but then I got older and realised she was totally overwhelmed. She went to college, she lives up in Canada and I hear she's just welcomed her first grandchild. We exchanged letters a few years ago, but aside from birthing us, we have nothing in common with her.

We decided not to meet up, and I'm fine with that. Sometimes Jennifer (my kid sister by two minutes thirty two seconds) gets a little depressive about it, she's unlucky in love and certain she's gonna die alone. Her biological clock definitely is ticking, if there is such a thing. She's broody as hell and she calls me at two am for those deep, profound conversations you wish she'd left till the light of day. But we're close. I like that she's the kind of girl that takes no bullshit, the female version of me, just a little clucky these days. But she's a woman, and she's bound to want kids. The same way I, as a man, want to spread my seed far and wide.