The Adventures of James Dean.

39.

If I thought the ups and downs were through. If I thought we'd reached a level playing field where I was starting to understand all the rules of this relationship, something headed my way and winded me.

We returned home to a house full of gifts. Shit I'd not thought about before, shit Kennedy had been saving for, but hadn't gotten around to buying. Of course she hadn't consulted with me, because she still felt weird bringing up anything money related. She was refreshing, I knew she didn't want my money and that sat pretty well with me. Not long ago I was worried she purposefully got herself pregnant to drain my bank account out of spite.

How wrong I had been.

With the crib set up in my bedroom, scratch that, our bedroom, Dad, Gran, Rusty, Carmella, Gavin, Libby and Lucy stayed for a whole load of take out. My crazy girlfriend had been ready to fire up the stove, but I stopped her in her tracks, strapping her into my arms and pressing my forehead against hers. No way she was making a full course home cooked meal. Not tonight. And not for a while.

'You just pushed out a fucking human being, woman. I'm not letting you within ten feet of that freakin' kitchen.'

The corner of her mouth had twitched, amused at my deadly serious expression, and she captured my lower lip between her teeth. We kissed in the kitchen, the rain coming down hard outside, and our daughter sleeping in the living room. When I finally pulled away from her I was a little breathless, I'll admit, and also eager to ask her when we could start having sex again. I mean I'm not an animal, I knew she had to heal up and recover, but now the kid was finally here, I found her even sexier.

Like some female warrior.

And that was hot.

With full stomachs and their fill of cuddling Fiona, the mass of well wishers filtered away, leaving the four of us to settle into a life drastically different than it had been two short days ago. Jen curled up in the living room, watching Fiona like a hawk and half watching Keeping up with the Kardashians. Why she watched that shit, I'll never know. You'd think some educated woman with an incredible career would prefer something more cerebral.

But not Jen.

And it was weird how normal life felt. Like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Like I could breathe again.

I ran Kennedy a bath, decorating the en suite bathroom with Yankee candles and the flowers our guests had practically covered the apartment with. She kissed me again, a kiss that once again had me desperate for more, and I scurried away, to leave her in peace. Begrudingly. While the baby slept I planned on letting her get as much rest as she needed. Jen teased me when I came back to switch off the trashy Kardashian show, that I was trying to score myself a few brownie points. Truth was, she'd taken care of me when I needed it, and right now, even if she told me otherwise, she needed me.

With the recorded Giants Patriots game ready, and Jen armed with popcorn and beers, we'd made it seven minutes into the game before the buzzer for the door sounded. Jen took the call, but grave faced, she returned, chewing the inside of her cheek.

'Take the call J.'

'Who is it?'

'Take the call.' She pressed, reaching down into the bassinet to retrieve a fussing Fiona.

.................

'James Dean speaking.'

'James. Hey. It's Rex.'

Now there was a voice I didn't expect to hear again. Not after his raging fit in Ibiza.

'Listen, don't hang up. I need to talk to you, and I called your office but they said I needed to make an appointment.....I just thought it was better if I came here.'

I held onto the phone, mind whirring, trying to figure out why the hell he was here. Was this his time to apologise? Get back into Kennedy's good graces? Was that his master plan?

'Just tell me why you're here.'

'First of all, I just want to say sorry.'

There it was. The ass hole was trying to act like he'd matured, like he'd seen the error of his ways. But I knew his game.

'I lashed out, I wasn't thinking clearly. Kennedy cares about you and that kinda hurt. I've always been her rock.'

I swallowed, not really comfortable hearing a guy talking about my girl in this way. It's crazy, but even now, I was jealous of him. And of his mean right hook. I'll admit that.

'What's your point Rex? Cut to the chase.' My tone was growing impatient. I wanted to slide under the sheets with my girl. I wanted to forget about this little impromptu visit.

'Lucy put a photograph of the kid up on Facebook. She's beautiful.'

Damn Lucy and her social networking.

'I saw you holding the kid and I just.....man, this is so hard to say. But I'm going insane James, I can't think of anything else and I'm trying.'

'Spit it out Rex. What do you need to tell me?'

'I think Fiona is mine, James.'

...............

My voice seemed to have muted, my heart galloped like a speeding freight train dangerously close to being derailed. I held onto the wall, and I felt Jen behind me. The comforting hand on my shoulder that probably stopped me fainting for the second time today.

'What?' That was all I could say. Jen's hand gripped me tighter. I barely recognized my voice.

'After you and Kennedy....after the club, she was drunk, and she called me. I picked her up and we went back to my place. When she woke up we just.....we were talking and kissing and.....'

The images in my brain crushed my spirit. I'd started off this day feeling like I was floating up on cloud nine or something and now I felt like he'd kicked me right in the balls. I didn't want to imagine her with anyone else. Ever.

'I'm sorry James but I'm gonna need a DNA test. I think we both need it, I don't know you, and I'll be honest, I don't like you. But it's for really shitty selfish reasons. I want Kennedy. I want her so badly. And I want my daughter and you have them.'

I wanted to punch a hole in the wall. I wanted to scream.

But Fiona was sleeping.

Maybe Kennedy was too.

'Okay.' Was all I could muster, and scribbling down his number, I promised to arrange the test on my dime. Heart careering in my throat, eyes pricking with tears, I stumbled towards the kitchen, Jen following me like a fucking shadow.

'He told me the vague details J. It's not true, you know that.'

'I don't know shit.' I leant against the countertop, eyes boring into hers. 'I know what I want to be the truth. I know I love her. Maybe she forgot about sleeping with him. Maybe she was still drunk. I know I was.'

I rubbed my aching temples, but it did nothing to soothe my blinding headache.

'J you have to talk to Kennedy. You know that don't you.'

I lowered myself to the kitchen floor, my head falling into my hands.

'I love her Jen. But what if Fiona's not mine? He's been there for her in the past, and now she's not pregnant and all those hormones have....disapated, maybe she won't want me anymore. Now normality has resumed in a way, maybe she'll decide she can go it alone. Or perhaps she'll shack up with Rex.'

Jen sighed, seating herself beside me.

'You've never experienced anything like this before. And we never had anyone to look up to with a healthy adult relationship. But I know one thing J. Kennedy adores you in ways you'll never understand. I saw that when you were in the hospital. Talk to her. Open yourself to her.' She kissed my cheek. 'And if the baby isn't yours, you can still be her Daddy.' She looked up at me, eyes brimming with tears. 'You have a chance to be really happy. For Gods sake J. Take it. Give the fucker the test he wants but remember everything you two have been through.'