The Adventures of James Dean.

15.

So yeah, I'm not proud of it, but I sought a little release when I woke too. Turns out my dreams were now an everyday occurrence, and yet again I was dreaming of her. This felt like some voodoo shit. Like karma had decided I needed a taste of my own medicine. Luckily for me, my current challenger headed off for thanksgiving with her friends and I went over to see Rusty. I was Kennedy free for four days. Jen was with Lucas' family this year, and still wasn't taking my calls, and my Pops and Gran were on a cruise somewhere, at sea in the Caribbean waters. I was thankful for a few days without Kennedy around, hoping that would do the trick and erase all the thoughts of her from my very weird mind. Rusty greeted me at the door to his size able town house, with a bear hug.

'Dude, the honeymoon thing, you're the best.'

'And you're a little gay.' I teased, dragging myself away from him. 'Where are those kids of yours?'

I plucked two bears from a plastic bag, one pink, one blue. Gavin and Libby came running, a force of noise hitting me right off. But I didn't wince this time. I needed to do this. For Rusty. Libby leapt into my arms, and I carried her awkwardly into the living room.

'Thank you thank you!' The kids squealed, excitedly snuggling their newest toys.

'Just put her on your hip.' Rusty covered his mouth with his hand, and I knew it was either my expression, or the way I was holding his daughter that was making him laugh. I followed his instructions, and felt two tiny arms wrap around my neck.

'Hey Uncy James.' Libby smiled, her face close to mine, and smelling like candy. 'Will you read my sow white book?'

'Its Snow White, dummy!' Gavin folded his arms across his body, and I instantly thought of Jen and I as kids. I stifled a bout of laughter that threatened to amuse Gavin and make Libby sulk.

'Hey!' Carmella entered the room carrying a beer. First time she'd ever greeted me with anything other than a sigh and a scowl. I thanked her and headed over to the couch. Rusty hung around in the arched doorway to the hall, shaking his head with amusement.

I read Snow White at least seven times. In the end I knew it word for word, and apparently so did Rusty, by the glazed expression on his face I think it was safe to say he was grateful I was reading it for once. But it was nice having Libby stuck to my side, staring up at me with awe as I read her favorite story. I'll admit, I went a little creative with the voices. I'd always been pretty hot with impersonations, and I made the seven dwarves sound a lot like Jim Carrey from The Mask. Libby loved it, and to my amazement, Gavin did too. As I laid down the book, the kids scurried off to wash up before dinner. I never really noticed it before, but Rusty did the whole Dad thing almost on autopilot. Not in the sense that he wasn't 'here' but in the sense that he was so natural.

I'd never noticed it before. The way he looked at his kids.

It was kinda cool.

That was something I'd never opened my eyes to before. So why was I seeing it for the first time, today?

................

Carmella's parents were in Canada on vacation, Rusty's folks had gone back to New Orleans for a couple of weeks, so that left the five of us to enjoy a meal fit for kings. Alongside the traditional turkey, potatoes, cranberry sauce and assortment of seasonal vegetables, was Rusty's infamous chicken and seafood jambalaya. With a plate piled high, I reveled in the second great meal in a week. The first being the chicken Kennedy had cooked. With the kids occupied with their dinner, I felt eyes on me, and I was a little disconcerted when I raised my head to see Carmella staring at me.

'Who is she, James?'

I choked a little on a piece of crawfish, and aided by Rusty's hard slap to my back, I was okay. I shrugged at Carmella. She'd made me require emergency intervention, by bringing up the one subject that was still a little murky. Kennedy Clark. She was the only 'she' on my mind, recently. Much to my chagrin.