The Adventures of James Dean.

40.

Jen headed to Dads place for the night. I needed to speak to Kennedy.

Trust me, it wasn't something I relished. The old me would probably have buried his head in the sand and there would have been some wedge between us that we'd never get over. We'd wind up angry at each other, unable to communicate and that would be it.

We'd be over.

I didn't want that. It wasn't just because I felt threatened by Rex. Being without her was lonely and shitty and not the life I wanted now. She made me feel calm and in control, and most of all, loved. And I never knew before how amazing that could feel. To have someone need you like you need them, and forsake all others to be with you.

With Fiona sleeping on her chest, Kennedy had propped herself up on a pile of cushions. I watched as her fingers stroked through the silken strands of our little girls hair. Her lips lingered on her soft head, before she looked up and saw me in the doorway. I tried my best to smile, but I knew in her eyes, she could tell something was wrong.

'Come lay beside us.' She whispered, patting the bed softly, and I kicked off my shoes, climbing onto the bed and positioning myself beside her, but far enough away that she couldn't touch me. Not till I'd said what I needed to say. She made me weak. I was scared that she'd stroke my cheek, or kiss me, and this would be ten times more painful if the outcome was that I wasn't Fiona's father. Would our feelings for each other keep us strong if that happened?

She laid Fiona down in the crib, positioned by her side of the bed for easy access and she bridged the distance between us.

'Don't' I swallowed, raising my head to meet her eyes. 'There's something I need to say.'

I dropped my eyes, and she squeezed my arm, forcefully.

'Don't look away from me Jimmy. If you have something to say look me in the eye.'

I sighed, feeling tears on my cheeks. Shit I didn't want to seem like some drama queen. She shifted on the bed, moving closer and I took her in. Her chestnut hair. Porcelain complexion. Dark brown eyes. Those heart shaped dark pink lips.

Everything and everyone I loved was in this room right now, and it scared the fuck out of me that anything could change that.

'Rex called tonight. He was downstairs and he wanted to speak to me.'

'An apology?'

'Yeah. I guess. But he also wanted me to know he'd been running something over and over in his mind and he just needed to know the truth.'

'What?' She was lost. Completely lost. She wasn't acting.

'He thinks Fiona is his daughter.'

Her eyes drilled into mine, and then her cheeks blazed, hands fiddled with her pyjama buttons, and she was the one to look away.

'She's not Rex's baby.' She spoke, defiantly. 'I slept with him before he went backpacking in Europe, early September time.' She raised her gaze to meet mine. I didn't know why this revelation was a stab in the heart, I couldn't grasp the concept that she'd slept with him. I don't know why.

'He says he drove you home from the club the night we....he says you slept with him the next day.'

She shook her head vehemently, tears gushing down her beautiful face.

'No. No I didn't. Lucy was there too. We shared a bed. I don't understand why he'd say that.'

'So she can't be his?'

'No....and the next time we slept together was the day I confronted you. I was seven or eight weeks pregnant at the time. I don't understand why he's doing this.'