friends? || lapidot

Chapter 15:Too Dark

Peridots P.O.V

Lapis and I sit in her moms car driving towards the place where Lapis' swim meet will be held. The road is bumpy as hell I swear I keep being bumped up and down. I keep having to adjust my glasses after each bump since they keep getting knocked out of place. Lapis let me borrow a one piece swim suit for when we swim, but until then I decided to keep on a pair of black athletic shorts a white tank top and grey flip flops. It's a good thing her swim meet is indoors, otherwise my pale skin would be burning each and every second I'm in the sun!

Lapis continued to stare straight ahead at the road without even blinking, her focus was on driving. The volume on the stereo was turned up to 15 so it wasn't too quiet nor too loud. I tried to think of a way to break the ice with her but just couldn't think of anything besides her meet. I mean I could ask her what we're gonna do when we get there and what she's gonna do during her swim meet but- what else am I gonna say afterwards?... Hey, you have nice legs.. Oh god no, no no no no never do that again Peridot.

Feeling frisky I attempt to speak by clearing my throat before I form a sentence. "So, what are we going to do when we get to this mysterious place where you'll be swimming?". Lapis didn't even flinch once, she was stealth, a very well driver. "We'll enter the place and see.." She responded sounding a bit off. I mean it was pretty early in the morning, 9 am, and we did go to bed really late, like really really late. Beginning to panic because I didn't want the conversation to end there, I quickly blurted out-"You look really nice in that bathing suit!" Silence, it was an awkward silence for me, probably for Lapis too! Shit shit shit why the hell did I say that?! Oh my lord what is she gonna say? I can't stand this tension! Somebody kill me!!!

"Thanks! You don't look half bad yourself." She said with a smirk, causing me to blush like crazy. Fuck I swear I was about to jump out of the car from that awkward silence. Well this memory is going to haunt me, and when I say it will haunt me, I mean it. For some odd reason awkward memories like these always come back at random times just to make me cringe and I really wish I could some how forget them! "So Peri, do you consider yourself a good swimmer?" She asked, still staring straight forward. Oh god I don't know if I wanna tell her. I mean, I'm not exactly the best swimmer there is. But I'm also not terrible either, but I'm not average, I guess I just kinda suck at swimming. I once was like a fish, but it's been so long since I swam that I forgot a lot of things.

"Well I wouldn't say the best..." I muttered. "Why so?" "I don't really like to wear swim suits that much, they just aren't my style.." "Peri are you hiding something?" "No." Crap. She's onto me, I must be a terrible liar if she can tell just like that! I was unsure if I was willing to tell her the truth, the real truth is too dark for a time like this, I didn't want to ruin the happy tone. "It's nothing-it's fine!" I mumbled. "Peri, do you want a repeat of yesterday? I will park this car and tickle you to death if you don't tell me now!" Shit. "Alright alright fine I'll tell you, but it's just, the truth is kinda dark..". "I can take it" "No you can't, I don't wanna set a dark mood right before you swim". Silence yet again. It looked like she thought for a moment, pondering whether or not what I was about to say could effect her when swimming.

"You can tell me anything Peri, I'll be fine, plus I really wanna know, I'm crazy curious!" She whined. I sighed to myself, knowing what I was about to say was going to be unexpected. I took a breath in, a breath out to calm myself, hoping I wouldn't get too emotional. "So, you know I'm depressed right? So that also meant I... sorta...self harmed... And since I used to cut myself, it would leave scars and it takes them a while to heal and-" my voice begins to shake. "It was all over my legs and-" my eyes start burning. "I didn't want anyone to see what I had done.. I was ashamed in myself" I tear rolls down my cheek. My cheeks are on fire.

"Hey hey hey, don't get upset, this is a hard subject for you, I'm sorry I asked, let's just forget about that" she pecks me on the cheek and wipes the tears off my face. I sniffle and softly smile at her, she smiles back brightly and this time she kisses me on the lips, lighting a fire inside my heart and letting a swarm of butterflies fill my stomach. "I'm here for you now." She whispers into the kiss before leaning away to continue to drive.