Til'Death (BOOK III)

Chapter 3

I got up from my chair and ran into the house to see what's wrong with my baby. "Momma!" She screamed. I walked in and picked her up. "what's wrong baby girl?" I asked rubbing her back. "I thought you leaved me." She said still crying. I couldn't help but laugh at her saying "leaved instead of left. "No baby, I'm here. I didn't go anywhere." I said kissing her forehead. She has separation anxiety when it comes to me. She can't stand it when I leave her. "Mommy I hungry." She said laying her head on my shoulder. "Okay baby lets go find your granny so I can get you some food." I said as I carried her out of the room. She nodded her head and then laid back down on my shoulder. "Why you holding her all the time like that? That's why she spoiled now." Broderick said as I bumped into him in the hallway. "Well let her be spoiled then. This is my child." I laughed. Amari raised up her and looked at her uncle. "Shet up ugly boy." She said rolling her eyes. For some reason she can't stand him. Even when she was a baby she's always hated B.  "Mari, Mari" Afeni cooed tickling Amari. "Granny" she screamed laughing. "Where ma pood granny."She asked crossing her arms. "Granny made you a plate. Come on so you can eat." She said reaching for her. Amari went to her arms and I sat down at the table next to them. "How you been baby?" Afeni asked looking at me as she put Amari's plate in the microwave. "I'm fine." I sighed. "I've been okay." I said running my fingers through my hair. "What's wrong?" She asked squinting her eyes at me.  "I'm fine momma seriously." I said rubbing my face. "Baby, you're like a daughter to me. I've been knowing you damn near 12 years something is wrong. Now why is Amaru here and not home with you?" She said pointing a finger at me. She spoke low, but loud enough for me to hear. Even though this was a conversation I wasn't trying at that specific moment, I had to get over it because she wasn't going to let this rock. I put my head down and looked at the floor and then back up at her. "I'm listening." She said raising and eyebrow.
"Mama, he's lost my trust. I don't know what to think when he leaves the house anymore." I sighed.

"So what did he do? I know he didn't cheat. He loves you too much to do that." She said resting her head on her hands.

"That's the thing momma. He let me believe he was out there cheating instead of telling me what he was really doing."

"Baby I need you to stop talking in circles and let me know what the hell happened so I can help you." She laughed.

"Well, around when I was about 7 months pregnant with Amari, the store wasn't doing so well, but money was still good. He owns the fucking Lakers for God sakes. Him being from "Compton" and me being from where I from, he thought that if he lost money I would stray away from him."
"I've had this talk with him plenty of times. Anyway, because of that he got himself mixed up with Jessie or Jessica whatever she wants to be called. You know the girl who owns the "body shop." " I said looking down at my nails.

"You talking about the one that sales stolen car parts?" She asked sounding really appalled that her son would do such a thing.
"Mmhm." I said flipping my hair.
"Imma kick his ass." She said hopping out of her seat. "Oh no wait I ain't done yet." I said shaking my head. "Continue." She said shaking her leg.
"So Jessie had him out there stealing cars for her. One day he left his pager at her office and she called my damn house. Making it seem like they were sleeping together. I was livid momma." I said hitting the table. She started laughing at me, because after all these years of being around them somethings still don't sound right coming from me. "When he got home I asked him about it. I cursed him out, hit him and everything, but all he said was "baby, I'm sorry." You know making me think he did cheat on me and that's when I kicked him out the first time." I paused because telling her this was like reliving it and it made me more upset with him than I was at first. "Thats not even it. The signs were all there. He was coming home late and one day he smelled like women's perfume. Jessie's perfume." I said angrily biting my lip.  She shook her head to let me know that she was still listening. "After all that , I STILL let him come home. After that you know he got hit in the back of the head and was in a coma and like a good wife I was by his side in that hospital, eight months pregnant and all. He told me that somebody hit him in head, because they were trying to rob him, but really Jessie hit him because he said that he was done stealing cars for her and that bitch came to the hospital and hugged me momma. She hugged me, how grimy is that?" I said shaking my head. "How come you didn't tell me all of this Damita?" She said rubbing my hand.

"I wasn't trying to wear you out with our problems." I sighed. "You won't be wearing me out at all. You're my daughter in law you can come to me about anything." She said hugging me and rubbing my back. "You can finish honey." She said rubbing my hand.  "After all that, I had Amari and we still weren't okay, because his attention was still into what he was doing with Jessica, I told him that I felt unappreciated and that he was distant and we made love that night. For the first time in a long time." I said trying not to cry because it was really getting to me.

"So what happened for you to kick him out this time?"She asked hugging me again. "Well, the night when we were all informed about Mike being shot and we all went to go see him. Mike had just kept telling Amaru that he needed to tell me something before it was too late. I was afraid. I had not the slightest idea of what he was about to tell me. He sat me down and explained everything and what upset me is that he had been doing this for 3 years and kept it from me. He waited until Michael was in his death bed and it was his last wish to tell me. That hurt me. I've been here with him through everything. Took him back through everything his done. I've supported him through everything and he repays me with three years of hell from worrying about him and thinking my marriage was over. I love him so much, I just don't feel like we have enough trust to be together. " I said no longer able to control my tears. I was a mess, my make up was running and I was a mess. "The next thing is that I said I was going to leave, but he flipped the script on me. He said I wasn't being there for him in his time of bereavement, he said that his brother was dying and I wasn't there for him and he left." I said sniffling. "I'm gonna kick Amaru's ass." She said hugging me once again. Amaru walked into the room and started to play with Mari. "Hey daddy baby." He said kissing her forehead. "Hey daddy." She laughed. "Momma, I have to go." I said grabbing my purse. "You coming home with me Mari or you staying here?" I asked wiping my face. "I stay here momma" she said waving. "Okay baby. I'll come get you tomorrow." I said about to walk out. "Momma wait , gimme hug and kiss." She said running after me. If anybody else doesn't love me, I know my baby does. I crouched down and hugged her really tight then kissed her. "I love you Mari." I said hugging her tight. "I Luh you to momma." She said patting my head. I pulled back and looked at my baby girl. She looks just like us. "You cryin' momma?" She asked wiping my face. "I'm okay baby. See you tomorrow okay?" I said getting up. "Bye momma." She said waving to me. I walked out of the house and straight to my car.  I broke down in the car, I couldn't take all this talking about Amaru.

Can you really love a man who won't act right or am I just overreacting?

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