Errant Souls •Gratsu• (Older Version)

Admitting

(Natsu's P.O.V)

Damp. Cold. Lastly, silence.

I stirred slightly in my sleep, and winced instinctively when a bolt of pain, as sharp as electricity shot up my spine. My abdomen hurts so much. I can hardly stand, let alone walk.

I blinked hazily, fully-awake now. The dull ache of pain is worsening, and numbness is the feeling that I was getting familiar with. I groaned, frustrated. I just want to lay here forever, never waking up, and never facing the difficulty of trying to find a way out.

I instantly stiffened in shock, and smiled dryly. Two arms is wrapping themselves onto my waist, a familiar, loving sent drifted over to me. "Don't go yet. Stay here for a minute more."

How could I say no to the person I loved more than life? Plus, the invitation of staying here, instead of rushing around, simply trying to stay alive is so strong, I am surprised that I hesitated.

"Alright, I'll stay here for another minute more."

He smiled, and I snuggled closer to him, welcoming the warmth. It's so comforting, I just want to cuddle against him forever. If he could change his ways of being a murderer, I would have gladly loved him earlier.

I must have mulled over things floating in my mind hard, because I could feel some of my consciousness slipping away, and my eyelids is heavy, full of sleep, even though I had just slept. In the last few moments of staying awake, I leaned up, and pressed my lips softly against his cheeks, earning a surprise look, but, nevertheless, he didn't push me away.

Drowsiness filled my swimming vision, and a few minuted later, I was out like a light.

----

I blinked, looking at my surroundings. Looks like I'm back into the cold, nerve-tingling Asylum. And I'm currently laying on a bed, in a blood-filled ward. Again.

I flinched silently, a stab of recollection shot through my jumbled up mind, forcing me to remember a painful memory of a dead and beloved friend that died here.

Her broken and fading voice, her sad smile, her ocean blue eyes filled with happiness and hope for the last time.

I mentally slapped myself, feeling guilt and anger assault my immune systems. Get a hold of yourself, Natsu! I scolded. At least when she died, she died with a new-found friend.

Leaning back onto the soft, cushiony pillow, I fell into a deep, mulling mode.

I heard a door creaked open in protest, and I glanced sideways at the shadowy figure stepping in. His onyx eyes shone softly, and despite myself, I smiled. He paddled over, and I titled my head. What is he going to do?

"I'm sorry if I'm too rough on you yesterday. Are you still in pain?" He looked at me, and I was surprised at the concern he was giving to me. Perhaps, he really is concerned for me.

"I'm not really in that much pain anymore." I fibbed, kicking myself. Why did I lie? The pain is still as fresh as ever, cutting harshly into my back every time I moved a muscle. I hope my lip-biting doesn't give away the real truth I'm hiding.

He doesn't seem convinced at all, but he nodded. His bangs hide his face, and I frowned, feeling that there's more then it meets the eye. He must be hiding something.  I couldn't help, but foolishly asking, "What are you hiding from me?"

He glanced up, surprised. I flinched, half hoping for him to tell, half not. But, my curiosity is too overwhelming to ignore.

Uncomfortable silence fell upon the room. I shifted awkwardly, tensing up. "I-I'm sorry, if you're not comfortable in answering, I understand, you could always--"

"I'm not." I glanced at him, shocked that he wanted to answer my question, and worried that I'm pushing him to far. He hesitated, and I clasped his hand, a sign for him to go on.

He sighed, staring at our locked hands. He looked up, catching my questioning eyes, and he looked back down again. "I....don't really know how to phrase this...But, I'll try."

"I was actually thinking over the past few days. When you asked me about my decision, I felt...torn. I couldn't decide. I've been a murderer over the past long years, and it's hard to break it. Like having a habit you loved so much, but you're forced to break from it. I am so frustrated I kinda...went insane."

I patted his hand gently with my other hand. It must have been hard for him to chose. I felt kinda bad, because I'm the one who forced him to chose one.

"I'm sorry I vent out all my anger on you! I didn't mean it. I was just so...confused and angry I just had to do something.

"But even then, before I...attacked you, my mind was clear. I knew I have the choice to chose and decide, and I didn't. But, when you're sleeping, I forced myself to decide. And my mind urged me to not change my nature as a murderer, but my heart told me to follow what I think it's correct."

I held my breath. I only want him to decide, not to cause such a mess for the both of us. Oh, Neko-San, what should I do now? I solved your first two puzzle lines, but the last two seemed impossible to do.

But, it wouldn't hurt to ask him his choice, would it?

I gulped. It's hard to spit the question out, but I steeled myself to do it. Everything is worth one try right?

"S-so, what's your decision?"

I tried not to wince when I saw Gray's uncertain and pained look. I felt as if laces were stabbing themselves at my heart. It hurts me to think that I'm the one that's hurting him.

I decided that he doesn't want to say it anymore. "G-Gray, it's alright if--"

What surprised me, is the action and the warmth of his fingers, as they slid into my hand, intertwining our hands together. It's quite comforting, but I glanced, worried that he's gonna say something bad.

"Natsu, don't worry, I'm not gonna kill anyone yet. But can I ask you one thing?"

My heart sank, but I kept a smile on my face. I closed around his hand. "What is it?"

"Can you give me one more day to decide?"

I nodded. I understand, because Gray's mind is in such a turmoil he couldn't think straight. He should have more time.

"I love you."

I couldn't find any words to answer that, and my tongue went dry with happiness and with anxiety. He's finally admitting all the hidden truths he hid from me!

"I-I love you, too."

He smiled, and leaned in, before pressing a sweet and loving kiss onto my lips.

{A/N}
I am sooooo screwed now.

I have a medical condition where my spine curved to a side, and apparently, I have to where some sort of backbone brace or something, and I needed to go for check-up 3 months later...T^T

I'm absolutely gonna die soon.

But yeah, excuse my rant, and enjoy this chapter!

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See you guys soon...I hope?

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