Decaying Bluebells

Arc I - Remnant

Disclaimer: Nao is mine. Mine, mine, mine.

Warning: Hints of character death.

Beta: Kalafina94

Beta: silverseed

Edit: 1/1/2018

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More weeks went by unnoticed, routine taking effect for our small group.

One particularly brave day at the stone, I looked up at Kakashi. My shyness forced my cheeks to burn and my eyes to have a strong urge to trail down, but my curiosity was overriding my shyness for the moment. Instead, I fiddled with my fingers in the sleeves of my hoodie.

"Kakashi-san?" I asked tentatively.

Kakashi looked down at me. "Yes, Nao-san?"

I shifted nervously, fighting the urge to look down and away and mumble never mind. I swallowed roughly. "Why are you here every day?"

I blushed brightly at realizing how rude that might have come out to say. That question might very well have been personal for him and I had never intended to sound so direct... I quickly looked down at my feet, preparing to dismiss what I had said, but stopped when he responded.

"All of my loved ones are on this stone," Kakashi said, his voice holding a small twinge of regret. "As well as all of my mistakes. I come here for them, as well as myself."

Shocked by his answer, I looked up and blinked at him owlishly. "So this stone is precious to you?"

"I suppose you could say that," Kakashi allowed.

I nodded my head mutely and looked back down at my feet, shuffling and shifting under his gaze.

"Why do you come here, Nao-san?" Kakashi inquired politely.

I shifted again and looked down at the bluebells I had placed. "I don't know how to explain it."

Kakashi waited patiently for me to continue. My shyness insisted that I stop there and find an excuse to leave, but I found the better of part of me wanting something else. I wanted to talk to him. To tell him my reason for coming here being a ritual and to answer his question. I wanted that very much at that moment. But how to explain it? What words could I use?

"I—My Momma's best friend sacrificed her life for her," I said quietly. "I'm very grateful to her, but not only her. Everyone on here gave their life for this village—for me. I don't really know how to explain it. Everyone on here died for someone else. I feel—I don't know," my brow furrowed, "humbled? Grateful? Whatever it is, I do feel—I mean I—" Words ran through my mind as frustration bubbled in me. What was the word? And suddenly I found it. I latched onto it tightly. "Awe. I'm in awe of them."

"You're in awe of them," Kakashi said slowly, his single visible eye never leaving mine.

In a way, that was how I felt. However, like I mentioned before, it was more like I was able to understand them. I felt, strongly, as if I could relate to their last moments of life. To know their feelings and convictions in wanting to protect those that they loved. It was so strange, and completely irrational as I had never felt that way before in my entire life, but it was true. I felt as though, in some weird way, I belonged on that stone. That I had already sacrificed my life for someone, and that it was my turn to rest.

But I couldn't very well say that, could I? It was insane; ridiculous.

I fidgeted under his gaze, breaking eye contact first. My eyes trailed back down to the ground as I blushed brightly. "Yeah."