Haunted By You

Chapter 8 Do You Ever Miss It?

Both girls jumped when there was a loud knock at the door. Lexa pulled Clarke close again and called out, "Enter." Octavia walked in the room, carrying two plates. Lincoln was behind her with two cups and some herbs. "We wanted to check up on you guys, and O figured you might be hungry." Lexa nodded, "Yes. Mochof, Oktevia." Clarke wouldn't meet their eyes, staying silent. If Lexa knew about her scars they probably did too.

Octavia moved towards the bed after setting down the plates. She moved some of Clarke's platinum hair from her face, tucking it behind her ears. "Hey, Princess, how ya feeling?" Clarke looked up, finally meeting her friends eyes. "I'm okay. Thanks for everything back there." She knew Clarke was talking about her singing the lullaby from the ark. "No problem. I figured it might help." Clarke nodded. "My dad used to sing it when I would wake up from a nightmare and my mom was in the med station." Octavia smiled, sitting on the edge of the bed. "My mom used to sing when I couldn't sleep if Bell wasn't home." 

Clarke could hear Lincoln talking quietly with Lexa, probably about her condition. She rolled over away from Lexa and onto her stomach, her hips hitting Octavia's side. She wasn't really sure how to bring it up, but she figured she would just put it out there, "Hey, O?" "Yes, Clarke?" "I think I want to get a tattoo..." She younger girl looked at her in surprise, but her expression filled with curiosity, "What do you want to get?" Clarke looked up at Octavia, knowing she would be the only one in the room to understand, "A number. 319." Sea colored eyes filled with a mixture of awe and saltwater. No words were said. But both girls understood. They sat in silence as Lincoln and Lexa continued their conversation, both reliving many memories.

Octavia broke the silence, "Where would you get it?" "On my back. Above the scars." Clarke whispered. She kept reliving memories. A cold cell. Little food, the prisoners were the first to starve when rations were low. Less oxygen, less light. An angry guard on a drunk night. Another one, sober, who was just a little too angry that day. She hadn't thought about those men in a while, but that number brought with it a tidal wave of pain. The younger girl looked at her in shock, "Scars?" Then realization, "The stories. They were true? About the guards who were angry. The screams at night? It was all true?" Clarke laughed bitterly, "Not all of them were angry. Some were just really drunk. And others...completely sober. They just liked the power they felt." "Clarke-" She interrupted the dark haired girl bitterly, "It doesn't...even matter." Octavia's expression softened, "Yes it does, Clarke. Who all have you told about this?" She didn't answer. The truth was that this was the first she had spoken to about her abuse in the skybox. To Octavia, the silence was answer enough.

Clarke was struck with happier recollections of her life in space and she looked up at Octavia with curiosity, "Do you ever miss it? Being up on the Ark?" Octavia sighed and continued playing with Clarke's hair as her head rested in Octavia's lap. "Yes and no. I miss the people. The innocence. We were just kids and we could run around and play and not have to worry about anything. But I don't miss the floor. I mean, I was punished for being born which kinda sucked." She laughed and Clarke joined in, "Yeah, I guess that would suck." Octavia smiled, "Honestly Princess? I do miss it sometimes, but I'm glad we came down here. Not that it was our choice or anything, though." Clarke smiled and teased her, "Maybe it was fate that we all got arrested then."

Both girls stared at each other in silence for a few moments before they erupted into a fit of laughter. They stopped abruptly, their body letting out little noise mixed between a cough and a choking sound when they noticed both Lexa and Lincoln staring at them with wide eyes. "Are you both alright? Do you need water?" The question just sent them into another round of giggles. Clarke thought back to the class they had been shoved into right before being sent down to the ground, she turned to Octavia and whispered, in all seriousness, "If you see water, what do you do?" Octavia answered, just as seriously with wide eyes and a shake of her head that sent her dark locks slapping against her cheeks, "Don't trust the water."

Suddenly, they were both laughing so hard that they couldn't stop. The waves of laughter just kept coming from somewhere deep within them. They were folded on top of each other, their forms shaking. Clarke tried catching her breath, wiping the tears from her eyes and looked at Lexa and Lincoln, who were staring at them like they had officially lost it. "I'm sorry. It's just that-" but she was cut off again by her own laughter. It was like each burst eased some of the tension from the two girl's bodies. Like they couldn't contain it anymore and they finally had something to let it out for.

A few minutes later, when they had both caught their breath, they turned back to their significant others. Octavia spoke first, "My apologies, Commander, what were you trying to say earlier." Lexa simply smiled softly, enjoying seeing the girls light hearted with flushed cheeks and bright smiles. "Nothing of serious importance, Oktevia." It was Clarke's turn, "And you, Lincoln?" He shook his head and returned her smile, "Just wanted to check in on you, Clarke." "I am fine now, thank you." He nodded.

Octavia stood, hugging Clarke. "Well, I guess we'll leave you two. Clarke, try to eat something. The herbs will make a tea to help you both sleep tonight. We'll be back in the morning." She squeezed Octavia a little tighter and held her a little longer than normal. "Thank you, O. For everything."

Octavia stepped back, meeting Lincoln by the door and grabbing his hand, "Anytime, Princess." As she turned to leave, Clarke stopped her once again, "Hey, 167?" "Yeah?" "I want you to be the one to do it. When the time comes." She smiled, "It would be my pleasure 319."