A Thousand Reasons I Hate You // Yoonmin

Part 19: Untitled

*TRIGGER WARNING: IF YOUR SENSITIVE TO SELF-VIOLENCE/ SUICIDE READ WITH CAUTION*

Yoongi P.O.V

I pack the rest of my things up and sigh looking around at my blank walls and empty room. All the clothes were removed from the floor and the sheets lay neat on the bed. I play with my pocketknife while I think of all the hurtful things Jimin said to me in the last hours. How long has it been since I've truly been happy? Do I really bring the band down like the boys say I do? Am I really such a terrible hyung? Do I not benefit the band in any way? Am I also such a bad friend? Is the only reason I'm in the band is because im too pitiful to be kicked out? Can I never be loved? Am I selfish? Am I really disrespectful and rude? Is it true that I'm looked down on? Do I really not have a purpose in life?

The tears start flowing down my cheeks, and for once in my music career, I don't even try to resist them.

Do I really deserve to die?

"Well I always knew no one wanted me in Bangtan. Its about time I left anyway." I say to the air, it seemed to be the only thing that wasn't against me now. I intake a sharp breath and start choking. I drop my knife as I bend over and cough, I continue coughing and I can't stop. My vision starts to blur and black dots start to appear. Soon I feel liquid coming out of my throat and I cough on my hand. I see red, a lot of red.

Blood. Everywhere.

Black. That's all there is.

.

.

.

The boy looks at himself in the mirror. He pours the pills in his hand. With an empty look on his face he turns to me and then whispers, "Min Yoongi, I hate you."

Then he swallows the pills.

.........

The boys' hair was a mess, his face a teary mess. He looks at the sky above him and then at the cars zooming past him. He looks at me next, he whispers, "Min Yoongi I hate you."

Then he walks into the street.

.........

The boy was on a ledge, hurt and betrayal written all over his face. He gives me a bitter sweet smile and then whispers, "Min Yoongi, I hate you."

Then he jumps.

........

The boy was in the middle of a gas station, his face resembling one of a statue, absolutely no life. He light a cigar but doesn't take a drag instead he looks at me and whispers, "Min Yoongi, I hate you."

Then he throws the cigar on a pump.

........

The boy was in his car, next to the sea. He looked at the photos surrounding him. He looked at everyone so lovingly except for one person. Then he looks toward me and whispers, "Min Yoongi, I hate you."

Then he drives into the sea.

.........

The boy was in a bathtub, his hair wet and his eyes red from crying. He turns toward me and whispers, "Min Yoongi, there are more than a thousand reasons to why I hate you."

Then he puts his head under.

....................

 I hear screaming, screaming so loud it was deafening. The high pitched sound made my head spin. Then it stopped all at once.

Anything there once was, was now nothing.

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recommended song: Butterfly by BTS

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