Only Fools...

'Are you nervous?' - Chapter Thirty Five

This was it. The moment I'd been both looking forward to and dreading for weeks. All the other acts, bar one, had performed. The backstage area was a lot clearer than it had been before. I guess that after everyone else had performed they had gone and hung out with their friends at the fair. Fair enough really, what's the point in waiting around. Once I'd got back from lunch with Danny the performances had already started, and even though I knew I wasn't due on until the end, I still stayed backstage. I couldn't quite decide what was more nerve-wracking, listening to the muted performances backstage, or watching them up front and realizing just how many people were watching in the hall. In the end I thought that the latter seemed marginally scarier, and by staying backstage at least I could avoid facing Amy and re-living my indiscretion.

There was no other performers back stage now. I mean Felicity was there, but it seemed like she was just milling around to try and seem involved. Not that she looked to be much help to anyone, everyone else was running around in their own little worlds, getting whatever needed to be done, done. Luckily Matthew was so busy that I'd managed to avoid him following our kiss. I would be so glad for this winter fair to be over, because although I'd still have to see him in our meetings, at least I could avoid him on a day to day basis. The pure amount of awkwardness that would have been involved would have just been too much to handle.

'Jessica, are you ready?' Suddenly Felicity was standing directly over my head. Her somehow cutting tone, interrupting my thoughts.

'Erm yeah I think so.' I replied. 'Is it time?'

'If you just want to come with me then we can go into the wings and you can go on when the band comes off.'

'Okay cool,' my breathing quickened, I was more nervous than I thought I was going to be. 'And my guitar – '

'It's already on stage, waiting for you.'

'Fab, thanks.'

Felicity walked me over to the wings of the stage. We watched on as the band before me finished up their last song.

'Are you nervous?' Felicity whispered to me. God, we weren't really going to talk were we? That's the last thing I needed.

'A little,' I admitted. 'But I should be fine, I've practiced the song over and over again. If everything goes to plan then it should be just like my rehearsals.'

'Oh no,' Felicity chucked slightly in a horribly condescending manner. 'I wasn't talking about your song. I meant are you nervous about Danny finding out about your little moment with Matthew.'

'What?'

'Your kiss? You can't have forgotten it already, Jessie? It just happened a few hours ago. I wonder what Danny's going to say.'

'How did you know about that?' My hands went all clammy, I couldn't breathe, my pulse had never ran quicker.

'Matthew told me, silly.'

'You're lying. Why would he tell you that?' I was still whispering, even though all I wanted to do was scream.

'I guess it's my fault really. You see I was just trying to help and I really did think that you liked him. And I knew that he liked you, God knows why. So I just pushed him a little. I thought I was helping. But I guess Danny's not going to like it, is he? Oh dear, what a pickle you've gotten yourself into.'