'it's like they want me to be perfect
but they don't even know
I'm hurting'
***
the rain poured down my window, making so much harder to hold the tears back. Every part of me wanted to cry, but I had to be strong, for him. If I want too see him then I need to pull myself together and be responsible.
I sighed, unravelling myself from the blanket I had tightly wrapped around me. I heard my phone go off, I really don't want to check it - everything, everywhere reminds me of him, and I'm not dealing well. Yes I know, 'you're not even the one in the hospital toughen up princess' trust me, I'm well aware.
But everytime I see something that is related to him, I get this pang in my heart, maybe if I were with him somehow or I replied to his missed phone calls he would be okay, not that I even know what happened in the slightest.
I finally give in, reaching out my shaking hand to grab my phone that rested ontop a pile of clothes, the ones I was rummaging through moments before I got the news. See, there's not one thing around me that doesn't remind me of him, it's ridiculous.
I close my eyes and scrunch up my nose, bracing myself for what's too come. I quickly open my Twitter and scroll through my timeline, it's all best wishes and prayers being sent to Justin, his beliebers even got '#prayforjustin' trending, I have to say, they're most certainly dedicated and touching.
'@itsrayray; we love you Justin, stay strong baby, we're here for you.'
I clicked tweet and shut off my phone, not wanting too see any more of it. I basically crawl over to my dresser and pick out some black tights, a maroon sweater, and some ugg boots.
I could be waiting a while, so it's best I choose something that is comfortable.
Once I'm dressed and I have applied a little amount of makeup I make my way over to the kitchen, my mum isn't home today either - what a surprise. I roll my eyes at the thought and switch the tv on too try to keep me awake while I make myself a fast breakfast.
'the recent hospitalisation of Justin Bieber has sent fans across the world into mourning, prayers are being sent to the pop star, and trending hashtags on multiple apps are wishing him all the best'
'It is a sad development, but I wonder, did he get himself into another car accident because of drugs or a drag race? it makes you think about his past don't you-'
I grab the remote and smash in all the keys until the tv is finally turned off, what insensitive asshole questions someone's motives when they are in critical condition in a hospital? people are sick.
I look down the remote in my hands, most of the buttons had fallen out or managed to have been turned up side down, well there goes more money being spent on useless things that I manage to break.
I give up on the thought of breakfast, I'll just get something from the gross vending machines there. I take the car keys off of the counter and head into the garage, in which I spend the next 20 minutes pep talking myself.
It took me roughly an hour to get to the hospital Justin was in, I had too buzz on the door to allow security to come talk to me and interrogate me on who I am and what interest I have here with Justin.
"Name?" a tall bald guy asked, his voice was deep and somewhat sounded annoyed. I guess he didn't want to be here as much as me.
