The Dark Phase

Chapter 9

"So you like this place?" he asked as he pulled me even closer.

"Yeah" I replied, but my voice came out not less than a whisper.

"You look so amazing" he complemented.

"Thank you" I said as my cheeks got redder, as if they were filled with blood.

"You don't need to thank me, I need to thank god to send you for me" he said as his eyes filled with passion. I wanted to struggle in his arms, I wanted to get out, my some part of me didn't.
The goddess inside me was begging me to kiss him, but I couldn't cheat on Kevin. It was wrong, it was the worst idea and when I decided to get myself out, Jacob kissed me. He held me tight in his arms, it felt like he never wanted me to go and most importantly, he would never let me go.

Years after I was feeling safe in somebody's arms. I just wanted the world to stop and the moment to freeze.
"YOU FOUND YOUR GUY STACY!" the goddess inside shouted at the top of her voice, she was so happy that she almost cried.

"I love you Stacy, and you are the only thing I want" he said in a deep voice, a voice with was filled with passion.
My head was empty and my voice got chocked. I had no words left. My mouth got dry, I did not know what to say.

"Stacy?" he asked as he held my shoulder.

"Yeah" I said as my voice came out.

"Did you hear what I said?" he asked.

"Yeah. I did-I heard what you said" I replied as I blinked my eyes a several times.

"So what you say? Wanna be my girlfriend?" he asked as he got down on one knee. It was for the first time, that any one did something like this for me.

"Don't you think it's too early?" I asked as I too got down on my knees.

"I don't know. When I first saw you I just knew that I wanted you and would do anything to get you" he replied as he held my hand.

"I don't know" I said as I got up.

"Why? Stacy I am a good guy, I belong from a good background and I seriously care for you" he said as he got up and stood next to me.

"It's....it's not that, Jacob my life is a mess-my life is a mess. I don't want you to get caught in it" I said as I looked deep into his eyes.

"I don't care! I just know that I love you" he replied.

"My life is way, way more complicated than you think" I said as I looked down.

"Stacy I don't care just please give me a chance, please?" he pleaded.

"Ok but it'll be a secret. I mean we'll behave normal around people, like we are just friends. I don't want my life to be published. Ok?" I asked.

"Yeah sure" he replied as he got the biggest smile on his face.

"Walk me home" I said as I started walking, he walked next to me.

I was clueless why I accepted his proposal? I already have a boyfriend back in New York, then why in heaven's name I haven't told that to Jacob?! I was blaming myself for everything which was on my way. I felt like I don't deserve anything, like I was a cheater, a bitch and most importantly I felt like a slud. In my eyes, I had gone way, way down. I couldn't look myself in the eye.

As we approached the front gate of Richard's mansion, I smiled and waved at Jacob and then started walking way. And to my surprise, I realised that wasn't walking I was running. I was eager to get in my room. As I saw the front door I opened it with my key and as I steped in I locked it. I ran to my room and slammed the door shut behind me. I sat on the floor, just behind the gate, my mind was full of questions.

I pulled my phone out, and started scrolling through my gallery. As each picture of Kevin and me popped up, I kept on sinking deeper and deeper into guilt. I started blaming myself, I felt like I was the most terrible, terrible person. I felt as if I was destroying lives.

"What should I do?" I asked the goddess inside me.
"Use your brains" she replied to the rudest of the tone.
I opened my mouth, but shut it as soon as I realised that, the argument was useless. She was right, I had to make a decision myself.
"I should tell Jacob" my heart said.
"No need bitch keep playing!" my brain shouted.
I was stuck between my heart and brain. One of them was in no doubt right, but the question was which one.

I got up from the floor and threw my phone on the bed. I took out a pair of red micro minis and a red crop top out. I walked towards the bathroom and as I entered, I closed the door. I turned the shower on and let all the thoughts wash out. I wanted a clear decision.
"I should tell him" I told myself as I came out of the shower. I was all dressed up, my hair were wet. They were flowing, open till my waist.

I sat on the bed and called Jacob.
"Hey what's up?" he asked as he answered my call.

"I need to talk just come to my place" I replied as I folded my legs in front of me.

"Why? What's wrong?" he asked as he got a bit worried.

"Nothing just I want to talking about something" I replied as I touched my head with my fingers.

"Okay I'll be there in ten minutes" he said as he hung the phone up. I kept my phone down. My head was flooding with all the things I wanted, or more importantly should tell him.

"Stacy!" I heard a voice and I ran towards the window.

"Jacob! Wait let me open the door for you" I said as I started walking away but was interrupted as he called me.