The Dark Phase

Chapter 17

"Stacy are you sure about it?" El asked as she placed her palm on my shoulder.

"Yes I am. I'm sure" I replied as I turned away.

"I still want you to think about it" she advised.

"Thinking time is over. Now it's doing time" I said as I exhaled a sharp breath. I opened the door and marched straight towards Kevin's room. My decision was firm. My hand was as steady as a rock.

"Kevin?" I called out as I entered his room. I got no response. 
"Kevin?" I called out again, but this time I noticed him; sleeping peacefully on the bed. He had an unknown smile on his face. I guessed he must be dreaming.
He looks so innocent. Can I break his heart? The question made a shiver run down my spine, I got goosebumps. But I have to do it. I told myself. I looked at my goddess asking for an answer, but all I got was death silence, no response; this made me crink. I stepped back and closed the door of his room. I walked straight to my room.

***

I took a deep breath as I slammed the door shut behind me. I pulled my phone out, it was twelve o'clock at night. I threw my phone on my bed and sat next to it.
My phone vibrated displaying a call, I tapped the receive button.

"Hey" I answered in a low voice.

"Hey are you ok?" the person asked, not failing to sense my mood from my voice.

"Yeah I'm fine Jake" I said as I rested my head on the wall.

"Seriously, are you Stacy?" he inquired.

"Well I don't know. Today was the day when I finally decided that it was over with Kev and I wasn't.....I wasn't able to tell this to him" I replied, my voice filled with guilt.

"Stacy don't make any decision in a rush" Jacob adviced.

"Jake I'm not making my decision in a rush. I love you and I will keep loving, but.....but I don't know how I'll get my courage back? The courage which somehow was gathered today" I said as I took a deep breath.

"Stacy I think you need more time before you say anything to anybody" Jacob said, his voice low and husky.

"Jake I don't need anymore time. I need courage" I said as I closed my eyes.

"I don't think so, Stacy" he said, his voice lower and deeper.

"No Jacob I don't. The bottom line is that, the way I feel about you, I have never felt that way about anyone and I never will" I explained.

"Yeah I love you too" he said in a voice as deep as an ocean.

"I seriously love you. I do. I just need my courage back; because, the consequence of this is far reaching" I said as I closed my eyes again.

"What consequences?" he asked, his tone changing.

"I don't know" I replied as I closed my eyes tighter and then let them rest.

"Stacy don't do anything stupid. Be careful about what you do" he warned.

"Yes, yes I am. And this time I won't take my foot back because I want you. I want you more than everything" I said as I opened my eyes, a tear rolled down my cheek.

"Are you crying?" he asked in a worried tone.

"No I'm not. But the thought of losing you makes me sad" I replied as my wiped my cheek.

"Stacy, honey, you never will. You can never loose me" he said in a loving voice.

"I know but still I'm scared" I signed and unknowingly tears started falling from my eyes.

"Oh baby you don't need to be scared. You can never, ever, loose me. You know why? Because-because I love you more than my life, I can't imagine my life without you" he said, his voice turning squeaky.
Listing this, I bursted into tears. I knew he was also crying, but I said nothing.

***

"Stacy?" El said as she gently touched me.

"Hm?" I said as the ray of sun entered my eyes. When did I sleep?

"You ok?" she asked.
"You're eyes are red" she added as she gently touched my eyelid.

"Yes, yes I am" I lied, but my voice told the truth.

"Were you crying? Did you cry yourself to sleep?" she asked, her voice turning worried.

"El how can I tell Kevin what's going in my head?" I asked as I tugged a loose hair strand behind my ear.

"You didn't get to talk to him last night?" she asked.

"No he was asleep" I replied as I pushed my blanket away. Wait a minute! I wasn't having blanket on at night. Did someone come at night? It was surely not El, if she would have; it would have been the first thing she would have mentioned. Then was it....was it Jacob?
The thought made me flush. But how did he get in? I shuke my head and let the thought go.

I walked straight to the bathroom and started brushing my teeth. My head couldn't let the thought of Jacob go. This was making things more difficult for me.
I knew, all my dad ever dreamed of, was seeing be getting married with Kevin; but, but I wasn't ready to spend rest of my life with someone I never loved. But can I break my dad's dream?

This is not the time to think such suff! my goddess scolded. Her arms were folded and stuck to her chest she was firm in her opinion and I knew, she was right.
Since I was a kid, I did everything my parents waned me to do and now it was my turn. It was my turn to live my life my way. To be with the person I love and care about.

"It's the end now! I'll do what I want to do. I don't care about people anymore! It's my turn to follow my heart" an unknown voice within me said. And all of a sudden I got my strength back and with my strength, I got something else this time.

***