The Heart of Alexander

Chapter Eighteen-Negotiations

"Roxana!" a voice screamed for me.

A great war engulfed me, swallowing up our camp. I found myself panicking, searching for someone, anyone, that I knew. The dirt and dust was kicked up off the ground, making it difficult to see. The deafening screams of men engulfed all sound except for the clangs of sword against sword. In the distance I saw Hephaiston wielding his sword above his head, smiting the Indian men at his feet. I sighed, relieved to see the familiar face of my husband's best friend.

Then, I witnessed the magnificence of my husband. Alexander stormed in on Bucephalas, looking mightier than I could ever imagine. He looked like a god bringing his wrath upon low life mortals. I now knew why many feared him, yet respected him. I watched in wonder as he ended the lives of men that surrounded him, until my eyes connected with his.

Just that brief moment of connection led to his downfall. His eyes widened in shock, as did mine as I watched an arrow connect with his shoulder, drilling its way through the cloth and flesh and piercing him through to the other side. He staggered and I screamed in horror. My Alexander, wounded. I tried to run, but my body was still no matter my will-power to budge. I sank back to the darkness.

***

I woke up, panting and drenched in my own sweat. My eyes quickly darted over to see Alexander propped up in the corner of the room, his head hung as he silently slept. Alexander and I slept under the same roof the past night, but he kept his distance from me. I should be happy that that monster was far away from me, I thought. But I wasn't. Deep down to the core of my heart, I yearned for him. This feeling that awakened in me was foreign. Never had I experienced this sensation, not even within the arms of Kiro. Come on, Roxana, you have to be firm ad sure of yourself. You can't let your people down. But somehow, it was more than that now. Something had changed inside me. I felt protective over him. I didn't want to be his, but I wanted him to be mine.

I stayed awake, watching over him as he slept. I observed how the moon left cascades of light glimmering over his sleeping form. How his light brown curls softly dipped down across his eyes. How even in his sleep, his posture showed how he guarded himself, his dagger only inching from his grasp. Yet his closed eyes held a contentment for peace, as if he longed for such peace that belonged to him only in his sleep. I wished I could be that peace that would satisfy his wants and needs. But I knew I would never be such a thing.

I crawled towards him, stopping only inches away from him. I remembered once hearing from father that if anyone ever touched his face, he would slice them in two. I wanted to touch him, feel what others dare not touch, to be the one who dared. I wanted to know that he was here, and not some figment of my imagination. That he was alive. For a small second, my fingers brushed the brown curls away from his eyes. But behind those curls, piercing green eyes were revealed.

Before I could let out a gasp, his rather large hand covered my mouth and I felt his dagger at my navel. My eyes widened, fear taking over me as I sat there frozen in place. His hand slowly moved away, but his dagger stayed in the same spot.

"Roxana, what are you doing?" he asked, his voice cold and unfamiliar.

"I just..," I stuttered, tears threatening to spill.

Before I could speak anymore, Alexander dropped the dagger and pulled me to him. I gasped in surprise as he brought me into his lap, his hard body cradling me close. It felt oddly satisfying, his arms enveloping me. His gentleness scared me, yet comforted me. Before I realized what I was doing, I found myself snuggling deeper into his embrace, laying my head on his chest in relaxation. I felt him stiffen at my actions, but sooner his posture softened as he laid his head on mine.

"Roxana, forgive me," he whispered, "I am only a man. I know not what I do. Forgive a fool,"

"On one condition," I replied.

"Anything. I will give you all the jewels this world has to offer. I will build you a palace and provide you with a bounty of servants to wait at your beck and call. For my desert flower, I will give anything and everything," he swayed, his words getting lost within his murmurs into my hair. I worked up my courage. This was the only way I could get what I want.

"To be your equal," I demanded.

Alexander slowly tilted my chin up, looking into my eyes with confusion, "Elaborate,"

"I want to ride beside you, not with you or behind you. I want to be in battle with you, to fight alongside with you. I wanted to be a queen, not just your wife. I want to have as much control as you do," I explained.

There was silence. I held my breath, awaiting his answer to such a statement.

"Very well. You must take a vow to be true to me and that I can trust you with your actions that you won't turn against me, or I will kill you without hesitation," he negotiated. I released the breath I was holding and nodded silently, "Get some sleep my desert flower for when dawn approaches, we move out,"

He released his hold on me, but I stayed still. He looked down at me with curiosity and I shrugged my shoulders, hugging my robes tighter to my body, "It's cold. May I stay with you?" I stammered out.

Maybe I was hallucinating, but in this light I thought i caught a glimpse of surprise on his face, but it quickly vanished. He looked away, his face hardening again to the same face he wore in front of everyone. How I hated that face. I wanted to see the Alexander nobody believed existed; the lover instead of the fighter.

"If you wish,"

I smiled to myself, curling myself up within his arms, drifting off into the most peaceful slumber that I hadn't had in a long while. No nightmares, no worries, only Alexander's comforting touch.

Alexander's P.O.V.

I watched her sleep in my arms, her brown eyes fluttering shut. I was astonished that she would even allow me to touch her. I smiled without realizing it. For the first time since my father's death, I felt something inside me. I didn't know exactly what this was, but I craved such a thing. No longer did I only feel anger and hate and greed for power, but now I wanted something more. Something only Roxana could give me that would satisfy me. This woman really was changing me. With the time that I kept her hostage, she managed to capture my heart.

I thought of her negotiations. I had already decided I would give her anything her heart desired, even her share of my empire. I already knew her intentions were to stay queen of her people and to rule over her land regardless of a husband. But I knew she was fit to be a queen. She was now my queen.

The door opened slowly and silently to reveal Hephaiston. He looked surprised as much as I did, but he smiled.

"Hephaiston, I need you to get the best horse you have for her. She will be riding tomorrow beside me as we move out," I demanded.

"I believe you have fallen in love, Commander," Hephaiston teased.

"I believe I have,"

WOOT WOOT!!!!!! THE TABLES HAVE TURNED!!! hope you guys enjoyed this update just as much