The Heart of Alexander

Chapter Twenty- Philotas

Alexander above

Under the starlit skies that had fallen over the camp, I snuck out of the arms of my dear Alexander and to the tent that belonged to none other than Ebony. I found her sound asleep, sheep's wool shielding her from the bitterness the night winds brought. I shook her awaken, causing a startled yelp to erupt from her mouth before I quickly covered it.

"Please don't scream. Alexander has plans to send me to Susa in the morning. I must ask you a favor," I whispered pleadingly, letting go of her.

"Anything,"

"I need you to pretend to be me. Alexander's men will never notice. We have the same skin tone, and I will lend you my clothes and garments to shield your face from them. They will never know until it is too late. But you mustn't talk. Theti will come with you, and she will know the plan as well. Anything that you need to be said to the guards will come from the mouth of Theti. Is that clear?" I explained.

"Yes, but why do you want to be here, in the midsts of bloodshed? If go to Susa, you will have reign over them in the place of Alexander," Ebony asked.

Because that's not where my heart belongs, I thought. I handed Ebony my garments, my jewels and my sandals. I helped her in the sari and darkened the kohl around her luminous eyes. Nothing had to be done to her skin for it was as dark as mine because of her Egyptian roots. At last her appearance was complete and it was my turn to change into my new attire.

I went out into the night, going to my Aquilo who was as alert as ever. Early I had found rocks that produced black dust. I rubbed it together into a makeshift bowl before smearing the black dust onto Aquilo. It grayed his usual white coat, making him blend into the night. I smiled in satisfaction.

Before nightfall I had stolen the armor and skirts of one of the soldiers in order to equip myself with the ability of blending in with the men. I bound my breasts together by linens and smeared dirt about my body to give a musky scent and to lose the softness of my skin. I smeared the dirt along my jaw and gently patted it onto my cheeks to broaden my jawline and to deceive the men into thinking I had facial hair. I took my dagger, cutting into my beautiful hair. How I hated to do so, but it had to be done. At least I didn't have to take off all my hair since most of the men wore their hair longer, but not as long as mine. I cut it mid-length, cutting it at all weird angles to make my hair look unkept and more wild. I erased the kohl from my eyes and etched more dirt beneath my eyes to look similar to dark circles and perhaps wrinkles. I dirtied myself up the best I could before putting on my armor and skirts. The armor was quite big on me, but it would have to do. I gave a turn for Ebony as she smiled in approval.

"You look like a man, but let's hope you don't fight like a girl," Ebony said, handing me a sword in its sheath. My smile faded at remembrance of battling Kiro in the abandoned gardens. I wondered what Kiro would think of my actions of joining the war he fought so hard to be free from. My heart sank in despair. I felt a tear slip from the corner of my eye.

"Oh flower, you mustn't cry," Ebony embraced me, her tenderness warming my heart. Her hand stroked my hair, an endearing gesture that made me love my dear friend even more. I pulled back from the hug, wiping my tears and smiling a sad smile.

"Are you sure you will be okay, Roxana? War is a dangerous thing, it can haunt you. I have seen such things happen to the men in camp. War can ruin you. And what shall happen if you are taken, or you lose Alexander? No one will be there to protect you, so you will be as good as dead. You are sentencing yourself to death by joining this war," Ebony persuaded.

"Oh, Ebony, anything can happen. If Alexander dies, I will no longer be safe; in the battlefield or back in Susa. I wish to stay with him. I will go under the name of Philotas. I promise you we will see each other again, I am sure of it. You are my most treasured friend. No one would risk their life for me so I could go into war. I promise you someday I will make sure Alexander will give you all the wealth and power you desire," I comforted her.

"Roxana I don't wish for such things. I want a husband and a modest home where I can be safe and sound with my own family. I want to feel at peace again. A peace I hadn't felt in over ten years. That is all I want. But I will wait for your return. I hope this war doesn't break our bond," she hugged me again, and this time I hugged back. We stayed that way for awhile, knowing at dawn we would have to depart of own ways once more.

"Farewell, Roxana," I said with a wink.

"Farewell, Philotas," she said back with a chuckle.

As I walked away from her, I felt my heart clench in sorrow. But I knew why. I was no longer a girl, nor was I a man of any sort, but instead a survivor. She went to Alexander and I went to the swarm of men dreaming beyond the war that was promised tomorrow.

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"Wake up, boy!"

A splash of cold water awoke me from my daze, making me yelp in surprise. How dare they, I thought. No one disrespects a queen in such manner! I stood, feeling stiff and achy. MY eyes were casted to the bundle of cloth I had been previously laying upon. I saw my armor as well.

I had forgotten about the events that occurred at twilight. Had Ebony already left? I stormed out of the tent to see the other men getting ready for a day of battle. There was the clang of armor being shaped and the snorts of horses being prepared. I smelled the scent of whiskey in the air as the men around me merrily readied themselves in their drunken stupor. I then went forward when I heard the voice of Alexander.

Alexander held Ebony in his arms and kissed her hand. I observed her, feeling quite proud of myself for the way I dressed her. I watched with a small smile as he sent off Ebony as my decoy with a band of soldiers. They carried her in a litter, silk and jewels surrounding her on top as four burly men lifted the litter with Theti close behind on a donkey. I had no doubt in my mind that she was well-protected. 

Alexander turned back to the crowd of men gathered before him, silencing all of the chatter that came from their mouths. Everyone's attention was now on him, including my own. We all surrounded him, me following the same actions as the rest. But the moment I looked to Alexander, his features darkened, as did his eyes. His smile was no longer apparent, but instead replaced with hard grim lines. He no longer looked like my husband, but instead like a barbarian. The monster he truly was. 

"Men, you have had your fill of wine and women, but now it's time to discuss strategy in these new lands. You have only been conquering your women in your warm beds, but now it's time to conquer cities and nations. Battle may not be today, but I will tell you tomorrow, we will have our fill of victory and glory. You men will be remembered as conquerors and legends. You will be legends!" Alexander announced, unsheathing his sword and holding it high in the air with such enthusiasm. All of his soldiers screamed like barbarians. 

The screams of the men seemed distant from me as my eyes were transfixed by Alexander. Maybe the tenderness he showed me the other day was only an act. The man that stood in the middle of the crowd held hunger and blood lust in his eyes. Something I had never seen before in him. Something he unleashed just like he would unleash his monster. I now knew three different Alexanders; the unfeeling monster, the gentle lover, and the blood thirsty warrior. But which Alexander would be the one I would call my own?

Alexander's POV

The moment my lips touched those of the one I was sending away, I knew. This isn't Roxana, I thought. The first time and since after my kiss with Roxana, I could always feel the lightning that electrified my body when I kissed her. This time I didn't feel that. These weren't the same lips I tasted before, but instead, one of an imposter. Anger coursed through me instantly, be quickly subsided. Roxana was here, hiding somewhere within the army. It angered me that she thought I was stupid enough not to notice, yet I was amused that she herself was careless enough to think I wouldn't find out.

She couldn't hide herself forever and of course she would stand out in such a crowd of brutal men. All I had to do was bring that feminine side of her out. I smirked at the thought of making her see the different side of me. I said farewell to the imposter and sent her off with a few of my men and Roxana's servant. I would play this little game she began and I would make sure she would lose terribly to me. My wife would not play me for a fool and this time she met her match. Let the games begin, dear Roxana.