Chapter 23

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I felt so bad about not being there for Kenney when his family came to town. I knew there was something there, something that he never liked to talk about, that had slowly formed a wedge between him and the mother and sisters he adored. What I had gotten from Aunt Jasmine's side comments was that the wedge was probably created by something small that Kenney had blown way out of proportion. However, I had never been one to ask too many questions, and I gathered that Kenney had never been one to volunteer too much information. It all worked out for the best, though, because Kenney told me later that week that the meeting was awkward and it was probably better that I hadn't been there to see it. Still, I know I should have been there, at the very least to give my Bud some moral support.

Collin was such an ass. He was always so jealous. I could never figure out what his problem was. I had never given him any reason not to trust me, which was more than I could say for him, but for some reason he started flipping every time he even suspected that I was getting closer to anyone else than I already was to him. I told Kenney this one day as we were walking towards Kinko's to get one of his photos blown up to poster size, but he just shrugged and looked away. I immediately picked up on the fact that he was in one of his moods and decided to change the subject.

"So..." I walked into the store as he held the door open. "How's wifey?" I flashed a teasing grin his way, but he didn't return it.

Instead, he headed over to the counter, told the clerk what he wanted, and after paying his money and looking at his ticket to see when he would need to pick the poster up, motioned for me to follow him back out the door. I did so silently and kept my mouth shut until we ended up at Buckroe Beach, which was a small beach down the street from Hampton University. The story goes that Buckroe used to be the "Colored Beach" before desegregation.

As we got out of the car and headed toward the water, I reached out and grabbed Kenney's hand. He kind of jumped and looked over at me, having become accustomed to me trying my very hardest not to appear that I was standing too close to him...you know, just in case word got back to Collin...but he didn't pull away. Instead, Kenney held onto my hand tightly and we walked in silence until he was ready to talk.

"You women are killing me slowly."

I looked over at him in surprise. His voice was so low that I could barely hear it above the roar of the tide, which was rising and falling forcefully against the pull of the ascending full moon. It was nearing the time change and the sun had begun to go down super early in the day.

"What?" I stopped and looked up at him. His face bore the same pleasant expression that it always had, but his eyes seemed like tortured mirrors reflecting the pain of so many years that I had never been a part of. "Kenney?" I stepped closer to him. "What happened?"

He shook his head and began walking again. "Oh...nothing new, really. Moms trippin' as usual...and my sisters are..." he looked over at me sheepishly, "growing up so fast. You know, without me."

I smiled over at him. I couldn't help it. He sounded like a father. Then I squeezed his hand and hugged him. "I wish I knew how you felt Kenney," I replied honestly, "but I really don't. I'm an only child." Then I added, "Sounds like it sucks, though," and frowned sympathetically. He smiled easily in return.

"Yeah, it really does. It's like...they're a family without me." Suddenly I understood exactly how he felt. He moved on to the next topic, though, before I could tell him so. "Deidra and I broke up."

"Really?" I was surprised he hadn't told me sooner. "When?"

"A while ago."

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