Still Waters

Chapter 38

HEY MOONBEAMS! THESE LAST CHAPTERS HAVEN'T HAD A FINAL READ THROUGH YET SO PLEASE IGNORE THE CONSTANT EDITS! ENJOY!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: THE SONG LYRICS USED IN THIS CHAPTER ARE IN NO WAY AN ATTEMPT ON COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT. THEY ARE JUST REALLY GREAT LYRICS. 

**SONG LYRICS WERE NOT INCLUDED IN ORIGINAL COPYRIGHT OF THIS BOOK**

Kenney, as always, was true to his word. He had my face back down to normal size by the following week. I didn't know how or why he knew to do the hot/cold thing, or where he picked up his "salting the face" trick from. Honestly, I was just glad I finally stopped fighting him on it. I stopped fighting him on a lot of things. Like Collin. After that first time looking in the mirror and literally not recognizing myself, I was done.

I mean...damn...

My first few weeks with Kenney were perfect. We got along just like we used to. It was like no time had passed between us. If anything, we were stronger and wiser with time, now knowing how to deal with each other's up and down moods a lot better. Around the second trimester I started going to Lamaze classes. Of course Kenney automatically assumed that he was my coach. I think he just liked being a part of the process. I've never seen anyone so excited about someone else's baby. As time went on, the less I thought about Collin and the more I thought about Kenney. It was like God had sent him to me at exactly the right time.

After that brawl with Collin I was messed up for a long time. Not only was my self-esteem nonexistent, but so was my outlook on life. I mean, like, there was nothing there. It's really hard to explain how I felt after that. It was like I was completely empty...a void. Everything in the present was so surreal and nonexistent to me that naturally, as far as I was concerned, there was no such thing as a future.

It only got worse every time I looked in the mirror. The swelling went down in about a week and a half, but the cuts and the busted lip and the black eyes stayed forever. I was so hard to look at. And I know it wasn't just me. Kenney, and I'll love him every day from now on for doing this, used to make me go on walks with him around his neighborhood. At the time I didn't understand it - and I was kind of hurt by it, actually, because it felt like he was displaying this freak of nature for the whole world to see, trying to shame me into never going back to Collin. Of course, I knew deep down, even then, that he wasn't doing that. He had never been that kind of guy. And it was probably just as hard for him as it was for me, since every time anyone saw my face they immediately looked at him like he should never be free. But every single day at 4 o'clock he would come home from work and say "Get your shoes Tashi. We're going for a walk." No asking how I felt or if I even wanted to go. He would just be waiting for me at the door.

The whole thing started when I sat down across from him at the kitchen table one morning and asked him if he wanted to hear something.

"Of course." He put down his paper and I fell out when I saw that he was wearing those fake glasses that he used to rock back in college. "I knew I'd get you," he laughed, taking off the glasses and rubbing his eyes. Briefly I wondered if so many years of wearing fake glasses had really messed his eyes up.

Kenney was the best. He was always doing something to make me laugh or putting on some kind of show for me and/or the baby. It was like he couldn't wait to get home and make us smile. I looked at him, with his tailored olive suit and tie and for a brief second felt weird, like we were a family and I should kiss him when he got up to leave for work. I think he knew what I was thinking because he suddenly blushed and looked away.