Curse of the East (Fili/The Hobbit Fanfiction)

Chapter 38 - To Kill a Dragon

     No one said a word as we sat there just, staring, waiting and worrying about what would come next. I knew every person here felt as guilty as I did; that dragon should never have left the mountain. I would much rather have died than subject innocent people to the horror and ruin that had taken Dale and Erebor all those years ago. I saw alight in the distance, and for a split second I though the sun was beginning to rise; another second later however I realized that it wasn't the sun at all. It was bright, orange, flame.

     "NO!" I screamed, launching myself off of the rock; Fili's tight grip on me, once again, being the only thing that kept me from going right over the edge. He held me tight against his chest, ignoring my struggles as I fought to get away from him. I had no plan, none at all; but sitting here only made me feel like I was killing them myself. "They're dying Fili," I sobbed, "We have to help them." I felt his muscles tense against my back; and his grip loosened ever so slightly.

     "Saria,"He whispered, forcing me to turn and meet his eyes. "Saria!" He snapped, his voice much louder now. After a few short moments I finally stopped struggling and buried my face in his chest, holding tightly to the front of his tunic as I cried. "There is far too great a distance between us and that creature now. We can do nothing now but hope that Shadow will be able to find Bard in time." I shook my head, an intense pain squeezing at my heart.

     "It's too late. It's clearly too late. I have sent him to his death," I mumbled. "He will be lost to dragon fire just as those innocent people will." Fili's hand was suddenly under my chin, forcing my eyes back up again.

     "You must have hope Saria, if you lose hope then what are the rest of us supposed to do?" His voice was light, but his pain was still evident in his words. "You told me that dragon was going to die tonight, and when have you ever lied to me?" He asked, wiping the tears from my cheeks and brushing my hair back behind my ear again. We said nothing more, but he pulled me back onto the rock; and I found myself looking once again to the light.

     It was spreading quickly, and the flames seemed to be mocking me; even from so great a distance. A small part of me was grateful we weren't close enough to hear the screams that were likely echoing from the people of that poor town. I had seen enough Orc attacks to know that when people are afraid the first thing they choose to do is scream; even if that is indeed the last thing they should be doing in the situation. I tore my gaze away again and turned around. To my surprise, Thorin was nowhere to be seen.

     I got slowly to my feet, thankful that Fili released me when he saw I was not heading back to the edge. Instead I walked slowly back the way I had come; when I looked over the edge I saw Thorin standing about ten feet down the side on a small ledge. His eyes fixed on something I could not see back toward Erebor.

     "What are you doing?" I asked, climbing down to him. I wasn't sure he had heard me, and when I reached his side I became certain that was indeed the case. His eyes were haunted and far away; but there was something else there as well. His eyes seemed to have some sort of film over them; his normally bright eyes were dull and grey. Not grey like mine though, I couldn't explain it; but I was certain something was very wrong with our King. "Thorin," I whispered, placing my hand gently on his shoulder. He started violently at my touch and whirled around; his face a twisted mask of anger and fear. I hadn't noticed his hand was raised until he let it drop; his face relaxing when he realized it was just me. "What are you doing?" I asked again. "Are you alright?" I added when he didn't reply. It was likely a stupid question, but I didn't know what else to say to him. He just shook his head.

     "I knew this quest was impossible from the start. Yet I lead all of you into such peril." His voice caught. "An entire city of man is being destroyed as we speak because of my weakness." He took a deep breath, and I noticed for the first time that his eyes were red. "Perhaps the elf was right." He muttered, turning away from me.