Survivor // Ben Parish

//16//

It's been a few days since our screaming match. I did say some harsh stuff. I respect zombie.. I do. The past days weren't the easiest. A lot more screaming coming out of zombie's mouth, way more. I'm just the idiot that follows him, right?

I haven't seen the emo girl because her squad usually trains on the other side of camp. It's been almost three months and I haven't adjusted in this place. I don't know if it was just me or if other kids felt this way too.

-

I was sitting across a table from Vosch and he's been explaining to me how more people are going Dorothy.

"Killer.." He sighed.

"Yes?" I mumbled.

My hands were neatly folded on the table and my feel flat on the ground.

"Zombie is showing symptoms of going Dorothy" I stayed quiet, not because I didn't have anything to say but because my heart stopped. "He's been loosing his temper easily" two days ago he did yell at us because we couldn't run together. "He has mood swings" doesn't everyone? "He isn't able to sleep at night" neither am I.

"He's just stressed out. As squad leader he has to put up with a lot of crap" I defend.

"Killer I'm just telling you this for the safety of that squad" i looked down at my hands and took a deep breath.

"What if you're wrong and he's not going Dorothy?" He was taken back by my question.

"Because I've been around this more than you and believe me Private, I know when someone is going Dorothy" he took a deep breath and looked at me. "You have to kill him before he kills you"

"W-what?" No I can't kill him no just no.

"You have to kill him"

"No no. I can't do that. He's zombie."

"Not for long." He said and his eyes turned soft.

"I-I can't kill him" my voice was shaky.. Was I going to cry? I couldn't even tell myself.

"Killer?" I looked up and into Vosch's blue eyes. His eyes were now soft and sweet. "Are you in love with private zombie?"

I buried my face into my hands. I didn't know what to say I really didn't.

"No" I mumble.

Why did I say no? But why would I say yes? Why would I say anything? I lied when I said I used to admire zombie, I still do. Every day I admire my squad leader. The moment he walked into the bunks for the very first time I had a sensation go all through my body yelling 'it's him! It's him!' Everyday I grew fond of zombie. Whenever he got punched, kicked, or spit at by Reznik, it made my hate towards her grow bigger and bigger each time. The moment when zombie held me tight as he whispered in my ear that everything is going to be okay I believed him, every single word he said I believed it. Our late night conversations about how our day was. He didn't really smile a lot but whenever he did it gave me a peek of Ben Parish. When I hugged him so tight I wanted to be in his arms forever. Whenever I was with zombie it felt like a candy rush but different, I never wanted to leave his side. Like Tank's example, a loyal dog. The first time I ever saw him, on that bus it was just insane. It was just a quick one second glance, it made me feel so weird. It was like when I first met Brandon in the paint ball arena only 100x better, and zombie didn't say a word we just exchanged looks.

"Private killer do I like lies?"

"Sir, no, sir"

"Is private killer In love with private zombie?"

As the words left my mouth I couldn't believe it myself..

"Sir, the private killer is in love with the private zombie, sir"