Feel Alive(Adopted By Mikey Way)

7~Mikey & Shallan

I have decided to give Shallan her first lesson playing the bass. I find her in her bunk.

"You ready for your first lesson on playing bass?" I ask. She nods and hops of the bunk. We sit on the couch. I hand her my bass. She holds like if she touches it wrong it will break. I show her where to place her fingers.

"Now strum." She does. It's sounds perfect.

"Good. Now try moving your left hand lower and try again." She does as she's told.

"Okay. Good. This isn't going as bad as I thought it would." I move her hand and show her how to play the other chords. I show her a few small patterns of chords. Then I give her an order to the play said patterns in. She plays it messing up a lot.

"It sounds awful." She huffs.

"You just need to practice. Trust me I sounded just as bad as you do if not worse when I first started playing. Try it again." She does and it sounds worse than it did the first time. She cringes and sets the bass down.

"Can we take a break and try again later?"

"Sure." She stands and stretches. Her shirt sleeves fall down and I swear is see thin red lines on both her wrists, but her sleeves fall back down to quickly for me to tell if they were cuts or not. I hope they aren't. I sigh and lean back against the arm of the couch. I close my eyes and let my thoughts run wilds. What if she does cut? What if she only started since I adopted? What if we're the reason she stated cutting? I groan and put my hands over my eyes.

"What's your problem?" I hear Frank ask.

"Oh fuck off." I mutter.

"Does someone need more coffee?" Frank asks.

"Go away and leave me the fuck alone." I snap.

"Fine. Fine." Frank says and walks off. My hands are still on my face. Someone pokes my arm.

"Please fuck off." I practically yell. The person pokes me again.

"I said fuck off. Is that so fucking hard to understand?" I move my hands and fix my glasses and see Shallan kneeling next to the couch, looking close to tears. She stands and runs back to her bunk. I sigh.

"Shallan? I'm sorry." I pull back the curtain. She's laying so she's looking at the wall.

"Please go away." she whispers.

"Shallan I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. I'm just stressed and tired. And I'm really sorry." she hops of the bunk, grabs something from her suitcase and starts towards the bathroom.

"Shallan?" she turns and sticks her middle finger up at me before walking into he bathroom and slamming the door.

Shallan's POV ****Triggering*******

I grab my bag and start towards the bathroom.

"Shallan?" Mikey asks. I turn and stick my middle finger up at him. I walk into the bathroom and lock the door behind me. I sit and pull out my blade. I pull my sleeves up and look my cuts from yesterday.

I cut twice for stressing Mikey.

Twice for making Mikey lose sleep.

Twice for Felix.

Twice for Mom.

Twice for Dad.

Twice for being a fuck up.

And twice more for being a stupid, stupid girl.

As I cut I watch my blood pool on the floor. I feel absolutely nothing. No pain, no remorse, no guilt. Just empty. Dead. I watch my tears mix with the blood on the floor. Not tears of pain or sadness, but tears of shame and anger. I put the blade back and wipe up the floor. I don't bother wrapping up my arms because they've stopped bleeding.

******End of Triggering scene********

I make sure there's no evidence of my cutting. I fix my hair a little bit and make sure you can't tell I've been crying. I walk out, toss my bag with my blades back into my suitcase and get back in my bunk. I face the wall. I hear the curtain get pulled back.

"Shallan, please look at me." Mikey says.

"Go away."

"I'm sorry."

"And I forgive you. Now please leave me alone." he grabs my arm and gently starts to pull me off the bunk. I don't even bother trying to stop him. He pulls me out and I land on my feet. He wraps his arms around me.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"I'm the one that should be sorry. Not you." He replies. I shake my head. I climb back in my bunk. I pat the spot next to me. Mikey smiles.

"One minute." he walks off and then comes back with his laptop. He climbs up into the bunk and opens up the laptop.

"Ever seen the X-files?" he asks. I shake my head.

"We didn't watch much tv in the care home. And what we did watch was mostly for the younger kids."

"Right well. This is one of my favorites." he starts the show.

+An hour and a half later+

"I will admit this show is pretty cool." I tell Mikey.

"Yes." he pokes his head out of the curtain,"You hear that Gee. She admits it's cool."

"What?! No! Shallan you traitor. How could you side with him?" Gerard's voice gets louder as he gets closer until he's standing in front of us. Mikey blows a raspberry at him. Gerard grabs Mikey glasses and runs back the way he came. Mikey falls out of the bunk and starts stumbling after Gerard. He trips and falls over. I roll my eyes and go after him. Mikey's now sitting on the floor clutching his knee. He squints up at me.

"Shallan?"

"Yes." I whisper.

"Can you go get my glasses back? I can't see anything and I'll kill myself if I go after him."

"Sure." I walk down the bus in the direction Gerard went. I find him in the front lounge talking with Frank. I stand in front of him and wait.

"Yes?'

"Where are his glasses?"

"Someplace you'll never find them." he says with a smirk.

"Gerard he can't see without them."

"I know."

"Please?" he sighs and stands up. He walks into the kitchen and then comes back with Mikey's glasses. I snatch them from his hand and walk back to Mikey. He's still sitting on the floor. I sit down in front of him and very carefully put his glasses back.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." He leans forward and hugs me.

"You know you're a pretty cool kid." He smiles. I force a smile. He stands and offers me his hand. I take it and he helps me up.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I must go have a talk with my brother." Mikey says walking to the front lounge.

"So immature." I mutter and get back in my bunk.

+++++

Here's chapter seven. I hope you like. This one isn't my favorite, but whatever. What's your favorite song right now? Mine is I Lied by Electric Century. Comment and Vote. Thanks!

Savannah:-)