Chapter 33

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"Meredith. Meredith?"

Dr. Wyatt's crisp voice broke her out of the state of lethargy she suddenly fallen into during their session.

"I'm sorry, I just..." she trailed off dejectedly searching for the right words.

"You look tired. Have you been sleeping?" prompted her the therapist. "Have you been sleeping since you broke up with Derek for the second time?"

"I have," sighed Meredith. "It's just... this morning... and I..."

The older woman looked at her expectantly.

"I have a feeling," began Meredith. "I had to force myself out of bed today. I'm not depressive, or suicidal... but I have a feeling... like I might die today."

"Can you explain it closer?"

"No, it's just the thing. It can't be explained." Meredith rubbed her forehead absentmindedly. "It's like a quiet board."

"You might be seeking closure," stated Dr. Wyatt rationally. "The year's ending, the time left till the announcement of the rankings is ending, your relationship with Derek is ending-"

"It's not that," Meredith shook her head violently. "It's a hunch, it's.... Something's going to happen."

"Are you waiting for something to happen?" asked shrewdly Dr. Wyatt. "Something that could change your life that is now a mere day-to-day existence? Something... to take away the pain you're denying?"

"I'm waiting... for the feeling to pass," Meredith answered quietly. If she didn't believe it would pass, she'd have to leave Seattle Grace and never look behind.

"Something happened between them," commented Addison more to herself than to Mark who was standing beside her at the nurses' station. "I know it did."

Derek had just entered into their view seconds ago but upon spotting Meredith, he swerved abruptly into one of the side corridors; not without throwing a hasty look in her direction, a look of longing and sadness. The maneuver didn't escape Meredith's attention. Her gaze, in turn, was searching and preoccupied as well as full of unyielding determination.

"Yeah, yeah, something happened between them," Mark sighed dropping his head down tiredly. "I think we established that a few days back. Repeating the same sentence over and over again will take us no closer to knowing what exactly happened."

One thing, however, was certain. Whatever brought the sudden shift in Meredith and Derek's relations took place the evening of the Christmas dinner. The next day, they saw him with that miserable expression on his face that didn't leave him since. He dismissed their questions of concern and didn't mention Meredith's name even once. He ceased talking about her, asking about her or gently stalking her as he used to. Instead, he avoided her, got out of her way.

"I think they talked," spoke up Addison as they started to walk towards the cafeteria to grab their lunch. "They must've talked, right? Derek wouldn't just stop caring like that."

"Maybe she verbally abused him one time too many," shrugged Mark. The situation was getting to him. Despite the appearances, Derek was in complete meltdown and he had to cover his ass in front of Derek's family - worried Carolyn and inquisitive sisters. He could imagine what a sophisticated kind of torture he'd be forced to endure if the Shepherd women got the wind of Derek's true state of mind.

"That didn't deter him for weeks," Addison shook her head.

They entered the cafeteria and joined the object of their conversation in the most secluded corner of the room, chewing on his vegetarian salad.

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