Not Feline Fine [depressed!Ichi x depressed!Reader]

Trust Issues

Ichimatsu had taken me to a local late-night cafe, walking a lot closer to me than he had in the past. Come to think of it, he wasn't slouching as much either.. He was actually pretty tall when he stood up straight, but if there was something off, it was the way his jumpsuit was open. That was something that Karamatsu would do, but I wasn't going to complain. It made him look like a bad boy with his messy locks and his hands in his pockets. But.. it still wasn't right. Was he trying to impress me..?

"What are you looking at?" He asked bluntly, snapping me out of my daze.

"Wh-? Oh, nothing. Nothing.." I smiled, feeling my face start to heat up. Idiot, idiot, idiot... He hummed as we sat at our table, picking up and hiding behind his menu. I did the same. Something didn't feel right.. but I decided to ignore the feeling. I wasn't going to let any thing ruin this night with my friend. Haha..

The waitress came and took our order and menus, leaving us to awkwardly avoid eye contact and engage in small talk.

"So did you know I had my appointment today?"

"Mhm."

"Ah.. you had this planned out?"

"Mm."

"You know you almost gave me a heart attack." I laughed lightly, seeing him look up at me.

"Why?"

"Because I was worried! You're my friend, Ichimatsu," I smiled a bit. He looked pained when I said 'friend'.. maybe it was just my imagination.

"Tch.. You shouldn't worry about me. I'm just garbage," Ichi mumbled, rubbing a bit of condensation off his glass with his thumb.

"You're not trash," I muttered, leaning back in my seat. "If there was anything I didn't like about you, it's how you always say that kind of stuff.." I saw him slouch a bit more and his hands slowly slide to his lap.

"Mm.."

"Ichi.." I sighed, smiling slightly. He didn't respond. "Did you want to uh.. share a juice or something?" He shuddered a bit, but looked up and nodded. I smiled and scooted closer to the table, catching his eyes for a moment before he shifted his gaze.

The waitress came by and placed out our food. Ichimatsu piped up and ordered the drink, earning a small smile from the waitress as she nodded and left once more. I looked at the other, giggling quietly at his blush.

"Wh-What are you laughing at?" he uttered, refusing to look at me.

"You're so adorable when you're all flustered~" I teased, placing my head on my hands and my elbows on the table as I watched him sputtering at my words.

"Tch, whatever.." I giggled again, leaning back a bit as the feminine appeared once more to place a glass of the juice between us. I noticed Ichi flare up even more as she placed the two straws that had been entwined and formed the shape of a heart into the beverage. She bowed slightly as I thanked her, looking at the man across from me at the waitress strode away.

"What's the matter? This isn't a date, why are you so embarrassed?" I asked in a joking manner, leaning forward to take a sip. "C'mon, you aren't gonna give the whole glass to me, are you?"

"Hmph.." Ichi huffed, looking at the glass as he leaned forward to take a sip, his face inches from mine as we drank. I was taking in the close up features of his face, the dark circles under his eyes a bit more noticeable though they looked like they were covered with concealer. His face was also free of facial hair. Did he really get all dressed up just for me? "What are you staring at?" The sudden voice made me flinch. As I came to my senses, I noticed Ichi was now looking at me, his eyes as expressionless as ever. I didn't respond and just pulled back. He looked a little nervous, pulling back as well just as the food started to arrive.

Dinner was nice. I had to admit, Ichimatsu had great taste and, surprisingly enough, manners. But there was one thing that I had forgotten about.. What was it again? Who knows, if it was important, I wouldn't have forgotten.

"I had fun tonight," I hummed, moving closer to the male as we walked.

"Mm.."

"Mm? That's all you have to say?"

"...The food was good," he kept his eyes forward and was back to his normal slouch. "(Y/N), I uh.."

"Hm?"

"...You should stay over. It's getting late and would be more convenient.."

"Oh. I wish I could, but I have work.." I rubbed the back of my neck, looking away. Wait.. this place...

"A-Are you sure? I don't want you getting hurt." I didn't answer, too caught up in looking at the surroundings. It looked so familiar.. "(Y/N)?"

"Eh?" Ichimatsu was looking at me now, his eyes showing distant concern. Good. "Oh. I'll be okay. Don't worry about me." I smiled. He seemed hesitant, but nodded and looked forward once more.

As we approached the house, Ichi turned to me, took a deep breath, and awkwardly opened his arms. I smiled weakly and stepped forward to hug him, feeling warmth spread in through my body as I felt his arms tighten around my body.

"I had fun with you," He mumbled softly after a bit, his embrace loosening. I pulled back and nodded, keeping my gaze on anything but the Matsuno. "Are you sure you can walk home?" I nodded. "..." He gently leaned forward and gently placed a kiss on my forehead before running inside, leaving me speechless as I watched him go. Tonight was perfect.

No. No, it wasn't. I know why I feel like this now. I remember why I couldn't go on dates, it's because I didn't trust anyone. What if he was like the others. The ones who used you as a trophy or tried to take your virginity just to say they were your first. I sat on the couch in pajama shorts and a tank top, admiring my scars. Everything was dark except for the dim light that emitted from the television, which was playing some dull show about a typical man and his typical life.

"At least he could be happy. At least he could trust people," I mumbled to myself, my voice slurred and probably smelled lightly of alcohol. "He could probably get a nice wife and have a kid or two. Maybe he could afford a nice house and a dog. You can't do that, you're an idiot." I laughed at myself, shaking my head as I began observing the nearly empty beer can I was holding. I'd decided to unplug my phone in case someone wanted to bother me. I was going to plug it back in if I bothered to wake up. Ah, my boss was gonna be pissed if I gotta do deliveries with a hang over.

You idiot. He's going to be like the others, I just know he is.