demons » joshler

1

when he was younger, josh loved concerts. they were loud, they were fun, they were temporary, harmless getaways from life.

now, he's terrified of them.

he's gone from being the boy pressed up against the barrier to the guy behind the drums, thousands and thousands of eyes on him.

he liked it better when the only people they (he and tyler) played to were their families, their friends, etc.

maybe tyler liked that better too. but it doesn't matter anymore.

they can't play concerts for ten people when ten thousand want to come.

more than ten thousand, actually. a hundred thousand is more accurate. josh doesn't really believe it yet. he didn't believe it when tyler told him they needed to start hiring security guards, he didn't believe it when he turned on the radio and heard their song blasting, over and over, he didn't believe it at all. he still doesn't.

that's alright, he's been told, that's fine, it's a lot to take in anyway.

but tyler's got it by now. tyler shouldn't have adjusted that easily, but he did. they played a huge concert last week, sold-out show, radio celebration. tyler was lounging in their backstage room, doing vocal warmups, and josh was having a panic attack in the bathrooms.

he knows he shouldn't get so worked up over concerts. no one ever notices him behind the drums anyway, no one looks at him until he does his backflip. they notice his hair, they notice his makeup, they notice his flips.

tyler? they notice everything about him. he's seen it. tyler's been overanalyzed a hundred million times. every single word that comes out of his mouth has a double meaning. the way he cuts his hair does too.

josh is the drummer guy with cool hair.

and that's alright. he's alright with not being noticed.

maybe if he keeps telling himself that, he'll believe it.