demons » joshler

15

i just don't understand, says tyler. why are you upset? what did i do?

he's sitting on the bunk opposite josh, who's avoiding eye contact. 

really? josh sighs. tyler, do you ever think about jenna?

the other boy's face tightens into a scowl. you know i don't like her, he says, at least not in a romantic sense. there's zero attraction there.

you're leading her on! josh exclaims, exasperated, she's in love with you and she thinks you are too, and you're lying to her!

tyler blinks at him. so what?

god. god. no, no, no, this is ridiculous. josh stares at him with a flat, flat look in his eyes. you're joking, he says with no emotion in his voice, you've got to be.

no, tyler says, puzzled, i'm serious- so what? why does she care?

is he- yeah, he's out of his mind.

josh sighs. is there anyone you love? like, really love?

yeah, why?

do you think they love you back?

tyler looks down momentarily, then says confidently: yeah, i think he does.

now, imagine that all this time, they've been lying to you and making you think they love you. how do you feel?

that gives tyler pause. -oh. 

yeah, exactly.

tyler bites his lower lip and shrugs. it doesn't really matter, though, does it? like, yeah i don't love her, and yeah it might hurt her, but she's gonna get over it eventually, isn't she?

you wrote an entire song about her. you convinced the entire world you love her. and now you're trying to flaunt the fact that you made out with me? are you crazy?

he hopes he isn't being too harsh, but it seems to be the right level of reality check that tyler needed. fine, tyler says, i won't mention anything about us. in public.

us? josh echoes. we're not a thing, tyler.

well, we should be, tyler argues, and suddenly josh freezes.

wait, he says quietly, who was the person you said you love?

a blush spreads across tyler's cheeks. well, uh, you see...

no, no, no. it's not josh, is it? it can't be. 1. he's unloveable (completely, absolutely, no negotiating). 2. there's just... no way.it's impossible.

tyler, tell me... please-

it might not be love, tyler says quietly, but i really think it is. and i'm pretty certain he loves me back-

who is it?

tyler isn't meeting his eyes when he says it. it's... it's you, josh.

it feels like he's been punched in the gut. does he love tyler back?

or is he now the one leading someone on?