demons » joshler

22

he nearly passed out today.

it's been such a busy week the only food he's been getting are random bites whenever he manages to find time, which is increasingly rare these days. of course tyler still eats perfectly well, still fills out his clothes just fine and doesn't throw up before every show. tyler isn't fucking underweight.

yep, you heard that right. ladies and gentlemen, josh dun has lost way too much weight this tour.

giant stadiums packed to the brim with screaming people do wonders for your weight! he's gone down by nearly ten pounds, maybe more, but the scale is off because he's just gotten back from a restaurant.

he gets dizzy and lightheaded a lot when he stands, and has taken to wearing sunglasses. maybe he's becoming a vampire and that's why the bright lights make his head hurt. josh knows he needs to go to the doctor, but there's a week left till the end of tour and he's promised himself (and tyler) that he will stay healthy and sane till the end of it.

ha. what bull. sane? he lost his sanity a long time ago. he's sure of it. he's been diagnosed, even. anxiety. depression. disordered eating. what else? there's a personality disorder hidden in there somewhere, but he can't remember which one.

and if he's been diagnosed, that means he's been written a prescription. he has, you know. three little bottles filled to the brim with happy pills. they work beautifully, too.

when he remembers to take them, that is.

obviously josh has a terrible memory. and he hasn't exactly taken a single pill this entire tour.

maybe that explains all the turmoil in his head. the one he aches to write down on paper instead. but he's not talented like tyler, not at all.

never has been, never will be.

josh is too scared to take his pills. if he takes one, he'll cave in and down the whole bottle.

taking one means giving in. giving in means admitting he's not sane. 

and they've still got a week of tour left...