demons » joshler

12

they have a concert back home in ohio now. 

there's a very good chance of things going horribly, disastrously wrong.

every time they play in ohio, jenna comes out to see them, cause why not? she's close by, she wants to see her husband, and she loves the music that they play. every single time. even though their sets couldn't be any more identical.

josh is going back to his rituals of throwing up before shows, and this one is no different. 

the last show they had, outside of ohio, tyler had caught him maybe four minutes before they were to go on, dragged him to the bathroom, and made out with him mercilessly. josh dropped his drumsticks three times during that whole show because of it.

now, he sees tyler standing beside jenna, absentmindedly stroking his thumb over her hand as he listens to a manager drone on about something no one cares about.

he knows that tyler doesn't belong to him, that he has no right to even pretend to claim tyler, because tyler is married. yes, it doesn't stop him from kissing tyler if the younger boy initiates it- but josh is careful never to be the one to kiss first. that way, he feels slightly less guilty.

it's like how you can murder someone with no repercussions if they attack you first. it's self defense, simply put.

but he's careful not to even think about kissing tyler when jenna is around, almost like she can read his thoughts.

they're fairly close friends. he wants to tell her, but it would kill her.

it's killing him already.