Listen Lucky

33. Break Away

If It Means A Lot To You - A Day To Remember (such a great song, one of my favourites at the moment)

***

I rushed home after my argument with Will and slammed the front door closed, ignoring my ringing phone.

"I'm home mom and I am perfectly fine!" I lied. I wasn't fine at all, I felt like my heart was being ripped from the protection of my rib cage.

"Great, we're going out now," she called from the kitchen.

"What?" I panicked as I made my way into the kitchen, slamming the shopping bags on the table. They were supposed to be my protection! Will wouldn't come over whilst they were home and I was angry at him.

"You can't just go out!" I exclaimed before my mother and father exchanged a confused look.

"Are you alright honey? You've never had a problem with us going out before? Do you not feel safe?" My father began worrying.

"No, I do- I just-" I couldn't think of a reason for them not to go. "Where is Willow?" I asked, realising how she wasn't around.

"Out with a friend apparently. You see, she's actually allowed to go out without me having to check up on her every ten minutes because she's never stayed out all night with a boy," my mother said dramatically.

"It wasn't all night for a start and secondly Willow is allowed to go out unsupervised because she's not the possible target of a serial killer."

I had had enough of it all, it was too much. Everybody liked to tip toe around the subject, to ignore the whole event and pretend it didn't happen. I had been fine with that as well, until I realised my past was affecting my future and causing me force people away.

I didn't want to do that anymore, but I didn't have a choice. I had to care more about people's safety than my own happiness.

My parents just stared at me, mouths slightly open. I had never been so frank and open about it, especially since we moved to Montana in an attempt to move on.

"Malia-" my dad began, my mom was too shocked for words.

"I'm sorry," I cut him off. "It's just so frustrating sometimes," I sighed, running my hand through my hair. "I think I'm just gonna lie down," I told them. "Let me know when you leave."

I lay down on my bed as soon as I reached my room. I contemplated playing the piano, but I didn't have the energy or drive to do it.

Realising I had to cut Will out of my life had created a soul-crushing sadness that overwhelmed me. My chest felt right, but it wasn't like a panic attack, it was like I was drowning. I was drowning and there was nobody to pull me to the surface.

I tried to hold back the tears for as long as possible, but the stinging sensation became too much and I had to let them fall until I had cried myself dry and I felt numb.

"We're off now Li Li, see you later. Love you!" My dad called up the stairs.

I waited until I heard the front door close and sprung out of bed and raced to the front door. I quickly locked it and left the key in the door. I did the same with the back for before going around my house and checking every window was shut.

It wasn't long before Will started knocking at my door, but my house had officially been Memory-proofed.

I sat on the stairs listening to him at he attempted to pick the lock but it was only a couple of seconds before he cursed.

"Malia! Did you really have to do this? You know I'll find a way in, even if you have shut all the windows and locked the doors. I'll climb down your damn chimney if I have to and you know I will," he called through the door. I remained silent, staring blankly at the door.