⊰nine⊱

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Derek kept calling my name out as I ran through the woods; a desperate need to get as far away as possible burning in my stomach. I was having a hard time finding air for my lungs, though, and because of that, I ended up tripping over a tree root went tumbling a few feet through the dirt and leaves.

I let out a sound that was a mix between a shriek and a grunt as I rolled to a stop. I scrambled backwards until my back collided with a tree trunk, closing my eyes while my head fell back against the tree. Tears were rolling rapidly down my face as I felt my chest constrict.

"Sarah?!" Derek called. I let out a small sob, covering my face with my hands. I remained still and his footsteps slow to a walk as he came closer. "Sarah?" he asked again, his voice a soft murmur now.

I shook my head and kept my hands covering my face. My entire body was starting to shake. The more I replayed what he told me in my bedroom, the worse I felt about the fact that I couldn't stop it either. I couldn't stop thinking about him or even about her—how she'd feel about me thinking about her ex-boyfriend in a way other than how much I hate him.

I gasped for breath, a shuddering sob leaving my lips.

The sun began to sit low behind the trees, the two of sitting there silently while I cried like a fucking baby.

"Is this about her?" Derek asked me softly.

I cried out a sentence, including the one word that I haven't spoken in a while, and I wanted to cry harder.

"It will always be about Paige, Derek!"

I pushed myself up to my feet and shoved him back, a hurt expression on his face.

"She was my best friend. My rock through everything, but now she's dead! She was with you. You...You were supposed to protect her but you didn't!" I cried, looking up him with my blurry vision.

I didn't care how horrific I looked as I sobbed. My cheeks burned, my nose burned. My eyes were probably bloodshot and red-rimmed. My heart was racing so fast in my chest that there was no way he could ignore it, even over my screams. None that mattered to me because I was finally letting out everything I felt about that night.

And I almost couldn't stop myself.

Derek reached out to touch me, but I tensed my body as his hand landed on mine. I yanked my hand out and a shoved him away again. "Don't touch me," I hissed.

"We weren't together that night, Sarah," he said.

I narrowed my eyes at him and took a threatening step back toward him as I pointed an accusing finger at her. "Don't you dare try lying to me! You left her a note to meet you at the school that night!" I yelled at him. "I saw it myself and I warned her against it, against sneaking out. But she was so in love with you that she didn't care," I hissed in a low voice. 

His head dropped in sadness and I could feel his heart break as if it was in my own chest.

"And I drove her there. I drove her to her death." Which made me just as complicit in her death.

"I told her to meet me in the boys' locker room, Sarah. That's where I was." He wasn't raising his voice at me. He wasn't angry or screaming. He was just explaining it to me.

I wished he would yell and fight with me. It would make things so much easier for me. 

"She was still on the level above when she was attacked by a werewolf. I heard her heart beating in fear and I ran up to find her, but I was too late," he explained. 

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