⊰twenty-seven⊱

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It was well passed two in the morning when I stumbled into my bedroom breathlessly.

After Derek announced that he was the new Alpha, I ran. I couldn't be near him anymore. I ran through the forest and I was masking my scent so that he couldn't follow me.

My vision was blurry and my heart was racing. I couldn't understand why Derek would jeopardize Scott's life or why he lied to Scott by telling him that killing the one who bit you was a cure.

I felt like I couldn't breathe and a gasp escaped my lips as I tried to find air. I tried to put my hand on my bed so I could sit on it, but my vision was blurred and my estimated distance from my bed was off. My hand ended up sliding off of the bed and I fell to the floor.

I cried harder and tucked my legs close to my chest. 

My bedroom door swung open and my brother burst into the room. "Oh, God, Sarah. Are you okay?" my brother asked me worriedly as he came to sit next to me.

I turned my head away from him, tears rolling down my cheeks. "Do you even care?" I asked him bitterly.

He reeled back as if I had just slapped him in the face. I couldn't help it. He hated Derek and I was crying because I was heartbroken over what Derek had done.

"Is this about Derek becoming the Alpha?" my brother asked softly.

I turned away from him and looked out of my window instead, reaching up to wipe some tears from my face.

My bottom lip quivered at the thought of Derek again and more tears leaked out of my eyes

"Sarah, please talk to me," he pleaded.

I sighed and looked at him sharply. He was watching me sadly and I heart his heart ache in his chest at the sight of me.

"What do you want me to say Stiles?" I snapped. I knew that it wasn't his fault that I was so heartbroken about Derek but I was too upset to be calm. "That I'm so fucking heartbroken that I can't breathe? Or that I want to be with him but now I can't stand the thought because he's an Alpha?"

My heart broke some more and I let out a sob.

"I swore that I'd hate him for all eternity. But now I love him and it hurts so fucking much because he's the one thing I hate."

I turned to my brother, ice cold walls around my heart and flickering in my eyes.

"Is that what you want to hear?"

Stiles looked backnat me with a somber expression. He was calm but sad about the words I spoke. Sad that I was sad.

"I want you to tell me that you're not okay. Yes, I want you to say out loud that you love him. It means you're not denying it anymore," Stiles told me.

I chewed my thumbnail and looked out my window again.

"He...He had me promise that I would understand that whatever he'd do was to protect me," I whispered. "I just never thought he'd kill his uncle to become the Alpha. I remember my promise but I just...I can't accept it."

"I know, Sarah. I'm sorry you're feeling this way," he said softly.

I choked back a sob building in the back of my throat and then I stared out my window. My heart started racing when I heard a new voice in my head. 

"Sarah, can we talk? Please?"

That wasn't Stiles.

I looked over at him and tugged my bottom lip between my teeth. "Stiles, can I just be alone right now?" I asked him through my tears.

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