Of Darkness (Supernatural Mates Book One)

|014| Expectations and Explanations

|Expectations and Explanations|

     Sometime amid my crying, Luce entered my room again, an uncertain, cautious and distraught expression crossing her face. She slowly crossed my room toward my curled up form on my bed. And when she reached me, she tentatively took a seat by my head and lifted it into her lap, gently stroking my hair.

     Everything felt wrong with the world. My world had been flipped upside down, turned topsy turvy and tilted onto a new axis. I hadn't cried like that in a long time. The only time I could recall crying like that was when I had learned of Mom's death.

     But this loss felt different.

     I knew I hadn't really lost Aspen. He was still alive (for now), but it felt like when he left, he took a part of my heart with him. It wasn't like he had said he didn't love me, but the way he left with no explanation at all made it feel that way. He just dropped a bomb like that and left me. Albeit, I thought it was best for us to be a part to think things through with a clearer head earlier, now I wasn't so sure.

     I felt confused and lost. Usually I was so logical and analytical, able to think things through, but when Aspen kissed me...it was like the world had stopped. All rational and reasonable thought went out the window and forgotten, my thoughts and concerns muddled when our lips touched.

     It sounded cliché when I thought about it. People always talk about fireworks happening when you kiss someone, and I always believed that to be false. But when Aspen kissed me, it wasn't just fireworks that went off. It was sparks, it was passion, it was a hunger and need—a fire brewing into an explosion of a thousand suns and comets.

     I was so distressed and stressed. At a time like this I needed Aspen, but I knew he didn't need me. Not now anyway. I hadn't really realized how much I had come to rely on Aspen in the last few weeks until now. I was so used to relying on myself, and everyone else relying on me, not the other way around. The feeling was so completely foreign, and it made me feel more lost than ever before.

     "Do you want to talk about it?" Luce whispered.

     I shook my head, "No."

     She let out a sigh and nodded, her hair lightly brushing my temple. "Okay. But if you ever want to, you know you can always talk to me."

     I wound my arms around her waist, "I know."

     It was silent between us once again, but moments later Luce spoke again. "I know you said that you didn't want to talk about it, but I feel you should know...Percy and I heard you guys arguing."

     My eyebrows kitted together, not recognizing the name, but brushed it off. "Oh," Was my smart response.

     "You really don't remember what happened last night, huh?"

     I sighed and turned over in her lap so I was staring up at her rather than out the window. "Nope."

     "I'm sorry Ray."

     I shrugged, "It's not your fault Luce. There's no one else to blame but myself. I got too drunk and now I've got all these blank spots in my memory."

     She started braiding a piece of my hair, "What's the last thing you remember?"

     My eyebrows scrunched together in concentration, "We went to the party, I drank a lot, almost kissed Robby until Aspen interrupted and then that's kind of where it stops. The next thing I remember is being in a cab with Aspen and coming inside the house, and then I woke up. There's pieces missing 'cause I don't remember getting in the cab and I don't remember how I got into my p.j.'s or Aspen falling asleep next to me."