Of Darkness (Supernatural Mates Book One)

|026| The Truth

|The Truth|

     It's been days since I found out Hudson Arring isn't my father.

     Days and days and days of wondering, anguish, crying and locking myself in my room when I was home. Aspen tried to cheer me up, tried to make me feel like everything was okay, but it was futile.

     My whole life I thought my father was my father, but it turns out that biologically we don't share an inkling of DNA whatsoever. It almost feels like my whole life has been a lie.

     Luce had no idea. I didn't know how to tell her...or even if I should. I knew it would destroy her to find out. I mean, we were still sisters, and I knew that if I did tell her that she'd say something along the lines of, "Half-sisters or full sisters, we're still sisters and that's all that matters."

     I knew that, and I knew she knew that too, but the fact we didn't share the same father wouldn't even be what hurts her. It would be the lie. It would be that Mom hid this secret and took it to her grave (or wherever she'd disappeared to).

     That's what would destroy her.

     And it's also why I'd locked myself in my room to avoid her. I knew if I looked at her too long I'd spill the beans. Because that's just what we did—we told each other everything.

     And then when I was left alone to my thoughts (not even Dean bothering me about it), I couldn't help but wonder if Dad knew. Did he know I wasn't his or had Mom pulled the wool over his eyes too? And if he did know, how could he stay with Mom knowing she was having another man's baby? Or (if he forgave her and put their differences aside), how come they hadn't been honest about it?

     If I had found out about it as a child, it would've hurt less than it does now. I may not have fully understood, but at least I would've known. Now instead I'm left with this crumbling feeling of grief and loss and guilt in the pit of my heart.

     Who even was my biological father? What did he look like? Did I look like him? Because when I found out Hudson wasn't my father I looked at pictures and noticed I didn't look like him one bit. I always thought it was just a weird genetic thing and that I took after my mother alone, but now that I knew we weren't blood-related, it made more sense. And it was so blatantly obvious that it hurt. And it made me feel like an idiot for never noticing.

     Then there were the other questions that plagued me: Was my biological father also a necromancer? Or maybe even a warlock or psychic? If not, did he know what my Mom was? Where did they meet? How did they know each other? Did he know I existed?

     What was his name? Did he have another family of his own out there? Which begged the question that if he did, did I have more siblings other than Luce? Where was he? Did he also live in Pennsylvania or somewhere else in the country or another part of the world?

     Was he even alive?

     I sat up in bed, waking up Aspen in the process. He grumbled incoherent things and stretched, rubbing his eyes cutely like a child that was tired. He slowly sat up, the blanket falling off of him and revealing his bare, chiseled chest.

     Ever since I'd found out Hudson wasn't who I thought he was, Aspen had taken it upon himself to sleep with me. Not having sex, but simply lying beside me, wrapped up in his strong arms making me feel safe and secure, when I'd been feeling quite the opposite in my waking hours.

     Jerrod didn't mind. Apparently since his last vision of Aspen and I all those months ago, he hadn't had another one since. He said it was because we'd fulfilled his vision, and it didn't seem like our relationship was heading in any other kind of direction at the moment. Therefore—no visions.