Lord of the Rings Fanfic- The Tale of Evelyn

Helm's Deep

         In my days in Shanelor, I was taught to do one thing- fight. Fight and survive. This was all I was told to do and all that I was expected of. At a young age, we were taught to conceal sorrow; use it as a weapon against our enemies and call upon their blood. If any of us shed a single tear, we were flayed until the next day, for it was seen as weakness. For strength could not rely on such a thing and if we cried upon one person losing their life, then we weren't prepared for the thousands that would die in a battle. This was the cold truth that we were to live by. 

        Now, seeing the tears and the heart-wrenching grief of the people, I felt alienated- like an empty void. In this country, sadness was almost tolerable, almost embraced, and I envied them for it. No, wanted it so badly- to be able to cry; to shed tears and embrace with comfort. But old habits die hard and instead, I stared in deep reverence as the body of Théodred was lowered into the marble tomb- so cold and lifeless like the stone itself. Through my ears, I heard Èowyn sing- a soft melody that drifted with sweet sorrow; the pain mingling in with the endless love. As I looked at her, I saw her face impassive and almost devoid of emotion, yet internally, I knew better than anyone that she was being broken from the inside. 

       I couldn't take it anymore. Slipping away quietly as to not disturb the mourning people, I wove through the huddled groups of people who were hunched and sobbing; my heart throbbing with grief. I had no idea of where to go, nor did I know where I was going but I walked on, images blurring in my mind. I felt my breath being constricted by a metal brace; clutching my heart like a beast does to treasure. I gasped, massaging my throat. It felt so real; so painful. I closed my eyes, regaining my focus. The wanting flowed through my body.

           Why couldn't I cry? Why couldn't I love? 

         I beseeched the grey sky, searching for an answer that was never to be found. At that moment, I felt less than human; less than anything. I had no right to cry. But in my heart, I wanted those tears to flow. The Fellowship never knew, but I knew Thèodred. We fought together in our early years; when I wandered after my family and my people were slain. I saw flashes of memories gone past- when we snuck into the camp together to fight, when we guzzled ale until we were drunk after the battle, and when we finally had something unofficial going on for each other.

       It was never true love, though. It was more like desperation and forced circumstances. In a warrior's life, there was no guarantee. There was no promise that you will live and no promise that your body will ever be found after the battle. Life was short. Thèodred and I both agreed on that, so decided to spend it the best we could- with no strings attached. We weren't proud of it, but we were too caught up in our own little worlds, and I was too desperate for love; for comfort. Yet, even after that, we treated each other like brother and sister. He was the only one who knew, besides Aragorn, about what had happened to me, and I owed him my life. 

       "I swear, Thèodred," I vowed to the heavens, hoping that his spirit would listen, "I will fight to the death to protect Rohan." 

          I wiped my eye. It wasn't a tear of grief, though- it was a cry of vengeance.  

     ***

            I watched as the little girl and her brother ate in ravenous gulps as if they would never see food again. After the funeral, we were met by two children, who's mother put them on a horse so that they may escape the Orc attack on their village. A sacrifice. A debt paid in blood. Their mother had given her life so that her children may survive. 

         I felt my spine stiffen immediately. If that was what a mother was, then I had none. She had always preferred my elder brothers and Danalia to me and would have rathered that I would have died instead. It was a common fact, of course. One always had to deal with such favoritism in the royal family. 

          I turned my attention to Aragorn who was arguing heatedly with Thèoden. "You have two thousand good men riding north as we speak. Èomer is loyal to you. His men will return and fight for their king," he said respectfully, yet with a hint of annoyance. 

          "They will be three-hundred leagues from here by now! We can not rely on Èomer. I know what you want from me. But I can not bring further death to my people; I can not risk war!" Thèoden said, twisting his beard in agitation. 

       "Open war is upon you whether you risk it or not," Aragorn replied calmly yet with decreasing reverence. 

       I winced. He had gone too far this time. 

     "Last time I looked, it was Thèoden; not Aragorn who was was the King of Rohan," Thèoden said coldly. 

       Gandalf swept Aragorn back and inclining his head slightly, he asked, "Then what is the king's decision?" 

       ***

        "So we are just marching out here with these untrained people to our possible downfalls?" I asked, albeit reluctantly because I already knew the answer. 

         "That's right," Aragorn said darkly as he watched Gimli help a woman unload a few provisions for our journey to Helm's Deep. 

       "Do you feel it?" I asked quietly, my voice barely above a whisper. 

       Aragorn's gaze snapped to me; his eyes worried. "Are we close to him?" he asked, knowing full-well that I could feel his presence. 

      I looked at him, my green eyes narrowed and determined. "I could feel it- Aeduinn is no doubt planning something; I should know, I trained him. If this many people are heading out to Helm's Deep, he will attack us in our vulnerability. Plus, Gandalf is leaving us, so we have no mystic protection either other than the few measly spells I know," I answered. 

        Aragorn slid his hand against the hilt of his sword. "Then we will just have to fight our way out," he said, his voice heavy with premonition. 

       Little did we know how high the cost was to fight our way out....

***

        Did you enjoy the chapter? Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I kind of needed inspiration, but I finally updated! Anyways, thank you for being so patient, my lovely readers and please vote or comment. You guys always make my day:)