The Rain (Book 2 - The Constant Fight)

Chapter 10 - Le vrai moi et la maison d'hiver

A/N - I suggest you listen to the song on repeat throughout the chapter

They woke up early the next day. Ross had already marked their destination on the map. Winter was nearing. The crisp, chilly air told them that soon snow would appear. They needed a place to hold up for the winter. They could only assume that the snow too would be acidic.

Everyone was outside, either sitting in the cars or packing the trunk. The only people inside the house were Courtney and Jane. Jane sat on the couch in the living room listening as Courtney bustled around the kitchen. Cupboard doors opened and closed, drawers were yanked open and slammed shut. Cutlery clashed together and tins hit the floor.

"Are you okay?" Jane asked over the noise, she was only sat a metre away from the door of the kitchen. She could see in but not enough to see Courtney. The noise stopped and Jane waited patiently for an answer. "Jeanette told me what happened yesterday." She paused, Courtney didn't make a sound. Jane sighed and continued. "It's not your fault Courtney, nothing ever was." She closed her eyes, knowing the next sentence was going to cause some type of reaction. "Annie...Jess...Clifton....Michael. They're deaths were not and are not your fault." She took a breath expecting Courtney to come marching through but she didn't.

Courtney leant against the counter, her hand on the handle of an open cupboard above her head. Her eyes were closed and she swallowed, sniffing back the tears. She took her hand off the handle and ran it through her hair, brushing it out of her face.

Jane smiled weakly and turned her body around slightly so she was facing the open doorway of the kitchen. "Do you remember that time-" She started nostalgically before she was cut off.

"What are you doing Jane?" Courtney asked, her voice tired and bored. Jane looked confused, her brows furrowed and she turned even closer to the doorway. Courtney turned on her heel and walked out the kitchen. She wasn't angry or pissed, she was just frustrated and slightly irritated.

"What?" Jane asked when Courtney came into view. Her face pale and bags were hanging under her eyes. She looked sick, emphasised due to her fair skin and black hair but then again she always did. 

Jane knew Courtney wasn't naturally black haired when they first met, she knew because the colour didn't suit her. Her brows were a dark brown and her skin was way too pale to suit black. Jane always thought she'd suit a dark red, maroon. But after a while, she got used to Courtney having black hair because every time the natural brown started to show, she'd dye it back to black again.

"You're doing it again." She said, her voice full of boredom. She ran a hand through her hair, tugging out the knots. Jane didn't understand. "I didn't realise what you were doing but...I remembered when we were back at Nate's house and it all made sense." She scoffed and nodded her head like she was finally starting to connect the dots.

"Courtney, what are you talking about?" Jane asked baffled, she was about to stand up but the tone of Courtney's next words told her to stay seated.

"You keep bringing up the past, Jane. As if it's going to change me." Courtney said annoyed, taking a small step closer. She looked out the window ahead of her to see all the others filling up the cars. "I know I'm not the same person I was Jane, you know that too. And I know you don't exactly like the new me." She laughed humourlessly at her next words. "Hell, you haven't tried to hide it." Her eyes connected with Jane's. Courtney pursed her lips and looked down. "You need to stop trying to change me back Jane. You gotta stop." She whispered almost pleadingly, it was as if Jane's attempts to shift Courtney back hurt.

Jane shook her head in denial. "I'm not trying to-"

"You are," Courtney said, sadness evident in her voice. She looked back up to Jane. "I'm not going to change, I never am, never will. Because as much as I hate to admit it, I'd like to believe that I'm the reason that the majority of us are still alive. The new me kept you alive Jane. It kept Drew alive too."