The Rain (Book 2 - The Constant Fight)

Chapter 25 - Passer le blâme et les regrets

They walked in silence. There was nothing to say. They'd stayed hidden while the two men had thrown Kate's dead body in the trunk and drove off.

They didn't want to take the car. There was no reason other than the fact that they didn't want to drive, they just wanted to walk.

Jane was the first to speak, she couldn't take the silence anymore.

"Where are we actually going?" She asked, looking to her right to see Ross. He walked with his head down, watching as his feet stepped over cracks and bones.

He did, however, notice that there were less of them. The remains They seemed to be dissipating. He let the thought fade, it was the least of his worries. His mind was empty, it had been since she'd died. He couldn't even conjure thoughts of her, it was too hard. 

"I don't know." He muttered before letting his mind go blank again. Jane didn't let that happen.

"Well, we have to at least have a place in mind." She argued, stopping in the centre of the road. The bones gathered around her like creatures attacking prey. She glared at him. She didn't know why she was mad, she just needed to be.

Ross sighed in frustration and stopped too, his back to her. He could feel her eyes burning holes in the fabric of his clothing. He closed his eyes and pivoted, opening them up to see an impatient Jane.

They stared at each other for a moment. Jane looked away first. She needed to say this, she needed Ross on her side and she was determined to get him there.

"I loved her too." She stressed, taking a step forward, her shoes brushing the concrete and bones. Ross's head turned to the side, he flinched in pain, closing his eyes. "She was my best friend, my sister," Jane whispered, pushing her head forward to catch Ross's now open eyes.

He scoffed at her words and shook his head in disagreement. "Yeah," He hissed sarcastically. "That's why you let her die."

Jane swallowed and her nostrils flared. "Look." She bit, grabbing his attention instantly due to the rage in her voice. "I already blame myself enough so I'd appreciate if you didn't. I'll take her death and trust me when I say that I'll carry it for the rest of my life." She promised, standing a metre away from him now.

Ross looked to the side in shame, not being able to meet her glowing eyes. He swallowed and sniffed opening his mouth to defend himself.

"You know what's funny?" He asked rhetorically, the pain evident in his voice. "I haven't seen you cry since we've been together. I mean, you cried after it happened but, since then, I haven't seen a tear fall from your eyes." He spat, his face inches from hers.

Jane sighed and shook her head, pulling her body away from his. "Just because I haven't cried doesn't mean this doesn't affect me. I am broken." Her voice wobbled as she spoke. Tears tugged at her eyes and she let her walls fall. As they came crashing down, like a wave, everything hit her body with such a force she couldn't comprehend.

"I can't think. I can't eat or drink or even sleep. I hear her voice all the time. I see her face in my mind every waking second. I replay that moment over and over again." She yelled, her voice shaky and distraught. The crystal tears were pouring out her eyes now, an unstoppable waterfall.

Ross swallowed the lump in his throat and watched as she crumbled before him. He took a step back but didn't take his eyes off of her.

Jane clutched her chest as she heaved for breath. She was gasping now, taking a step backwards as she looked around wildly.

"I..I can't...I.." She said between breaths. It was a panic attack. She hadn't had one in ages, she thought that they were gone. Her vision blurred and her voice was nothing but a dull noise. Someone was sitting on her chest, her heart felt as though it was going to burst. Ross was just a blurry figure that stood and watched her.