never enough → josh william dun

Part 17

{Ava POV}

Today I am going back to Colorado. It's been three years since my mum passed. I decided to stay in Colorado so I could leave all the memories of her behind in Ohio.

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years. I met him at my mother's funeral. His mum was close friends with my mother and he saw me struggling to cope at the funeral so he came over and comforted me. We hit it off instantly but soon enough he became abusive. We moved in together after a year and every time we fought he would verbally abuse me, that lead to physically abusing me which lead to mentally abusing me. I would cry myself to sleep most nights and I would often think about Josh. Maybe I should've given him a chance, he made a drunken mistake, but at that point in my life I was coping really bad and I just needed an excuse to get away from Ohio.

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I arrive in Ohio, the airport exactly the same as the day I left. All the memories of that day running through my brain. I have changed my look, A LOT. When I left I had long brown hair, now I have short ombre hair, I am skinnier and my style has changed a slight bit. I still wear band shirts, ripped jeans and fedoras but my style has improved. I wonder if Josh still lives here? I should have told him I was coming back and we could of hung out. I will ring him later. I do all the shit I needed to do before I could leave the airport and I'm heading off to the house. We still own it, after all these years we couldn't sell it. It held too many memories.

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I decided I would go out for lunch. I go to Starbuck and order a green tea creme frappuccino. I'm not really hungry so I don't get anything to eat. I brought my laptop with me so I could continue to work on my blog. For work, I own a blog. It contains posts about fashion and fitness. It pretty much describes me in a nutshell. I look up from my laptop for a split second and I notice a very familiar colour of hair. It's hot pink. My eyes then trail down to the face of this boy and I realise who it is. Joshua fucking Dun. My eyes light up and I stand up to walk over to him.

"Josh, how are you?" I say as I stand next him. I notice he is holding a girls hand that used to go to school with us. I remember her as Debby.

"Sorry, do I know you?" Josh asks

"Uh, yeah. It's Ava..." I say with a chuckle

"Um, Sorry but I don't know who you are." Josh says as he turns away from me and returns to his conversation with Debby. At that moment in time it feels like my heart has been stabbed a million times. I feel disappointed. I take one last look before I leave. He is laughing and smiling before he kisses her. I guess he got tired of waiting.

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I get home, make myself some mac 'n' cheese and sit on the couch I'm always eating clean nowadays but right now I just need comfort food. I look down at my wrist and remember how much he helped me. All of the things he did for me, how he told me he loved me. All just so he could pretend that he didn't know who I was. He was like a child who had a doll but threw it away for a more beautiful one. I knew that I was never good enough for him. I knew he lied all the times he told me that I was enough for him.