never enough → josh william dun

Part 19

The rest of the day was spent blocking Josh on every social media site that I had. I wanted to start fresh. He really hurt me and I did nothing to him. He has tried to ring me several times today but I just can't deal with him. I'm in so much emotional pain right now and being reminded that he isn't by my side to help me through it is the last thing I need right now.

I love Josh with every single bone in my body but I just need to stay away from him. I am trying with everything I have to not break down but as soon as I get to the bathroom I just lose it. I look in the mirror and punch it so hard that it shatters. I'm such an idiot. I miss him so much. He means the world to me and without him i'm so fucking lost. I need this pain to end. I just need it to stop. I know that he will never love me again and I know that he won't care if I just leave this world.

I reach into the cupboard and pull out my sleeping pills that I have for my insomnia. I pour the pills into my hand and stare at them. I've come so far from where I was and now i'm about to throw that all away. I would be doing a lot of people a favor, my dad, Josh, Charlotte and possibly even Tyler. I new Tyler never liked me that much anyway I always felt that he didn't like me because I was always taking Josh away from him. But it doesn't matter now because as I was thinking all this, I swallowed every single one of the pills that were in my hand. I lay down, sobbing, and just pray that I don't wake up.

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Sorry for the short chapter but this story is coming to an end. I'm just running out of ideas but thank you all so much for 400 views!