Holding on by a thread (Bleach X Reader)

Chapter Twelve

Ichigo grew more silent as the days without (Y/N) increased... He sat on the edge of his bed glaring at the floor and gripping his hands tightly together, almost causing himself to bruise. Noticing his hands turning red and purple he quickly let go and flopped backward to look at his black canvas of a ceiling to contemplate more or loosing (Y/N). "Why does loosing her feel so bad?" he questioned himself as he placed his right hand over his heart and scrunching the fabric from his top into a ball in his hand. He suddenly recalled memories of their time together from the first day they met, so their last minute decision on ice cream runs. His heart immediately migrated to his stomach when he remembered the day she told him she was leaving school. He clustered thoughts together about why she may of left "Did she not like school? Was she getting bullied behind my back? If she was getting bullied I'll kill the son's of bitches! or maybe she left because of me... Did she not like us or something?" thoughts such as this made his emotions curdle even more. 

"I just miss her..." He spoke out loud with a crackle to his voice. "I miss everything about her..." he slowly added as he brushed his sniffling nose against the arm of his shirt. In this moment here, the orange haired boy had enlightenment on his true feelings for (Y/N). To him it was like a clouded fog had been lifted from his heart or a huge beam of light burst down from the heavens to reveal only (Y/N) standing there in front of him. He had become one with his emotions, but it was already too late. "I've never really felt this way about anyone before..."  he paused his thought when he ruffled his hair in confusion. "It's not like anything that I've ever experienced... I love all of my friends, even four eyes. and I love my family with all my heart... But the feelings for her... it's different. It like when she's not around, the oxygen from the air disappears. Its like I cease to exist when she's not around" Kind of embarrassed of the words he just spoke out loud to himself, he changed colour like a chameleon to a pinky-red. 

Just as he was about to turn over to stare at yet another wall, he heard a small click coming from his window. Eager to ignore, he signed and started his staring competition until another louder clink came from his window. Ichigo was pissed that someone dared to intrude of his first ever depression session over a girl, so he stormed monstrously over to the window and opened it. Opening his mouth to shout "PISS OFF!" he soon halted when he saw Orihime, Uryu and Chad stood at his window with a pile of small pebble in each of their hands. Seeing the pissed off look in Ichigo's face they all instantly flung their hands behind their bodies and slowly dropped the pebbles, obviously trying to fool him but failing at it. "C'Mon Ichi, get ready because you're coming out with us to the arcade" Orihime shouted up like Romeo to Juliet. "ummm... Nahhhh. I don't feel like it today guys. Sorry" he said as he flung his hand behind his head and looked away from them. Ichigo expected them to sympathise and leave him be however he was surprised to hear "Pucker up and stop wallowing in self pity Ichigo... it's time you get out and have some fun" from Uryu. Hesitant and a little shocked from the reply that was flung in his face, he smirked and shut his window to get his jacket and leave. 

All of the gang tried their utter best to cheer Ichigo up but nothing seemed to work, even Uryu was giving it his all to at least crack a smile from him. Seeing all of his friends attempt so hard to change his mood, he would fake the occasional smile and laugh when it was necessary "Its hard enough me being sad without me rubbing it onto them as well" he thought to himself. On their arrival to the arcade, Orihime had an 'amazing' idea to make the carrot top laugh as she excitedly pushed Uryu on the Dance mat "Go on then Urya! Show us your dance moves" she chanted as she jumped repeatedly up and down, clapping her hands and giggling. Seeing that this was a mission to pull Ichigo back to the fun side he entered his money into the machine and selected a moderate level on a song he was fairly familiar with. Orihime yelped with laughter, grasping her stomach because of the craps she was experiencing from the amount of laughing she was doing. Uryu, going slightly red with embarrassment as he attempted to keep up with the steps on the dance mat as his legs started to blur from moving too fast. Even silent Chad let out the odd giggle hear and then. Although, Ichigo couldn't find anything funny or enjoyable, not when he was thinking about (Y/N). All that was going through his head was how she would of found this moment funny, and would probably be on the floor rolling about with laugher... and how he would of probably found it just as funny if he was sharing the moment with her.