Chapter 39

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Lauren's POV

If it haven't been for the sadness spread all over her expression, for the continuos tears falling down her face wetting her gorgeous features, and for the way her broken voice crashed my defenses, I would have left her there, turn around and let everything we've built collapse. However, it was Camila and I couldn't be more in love with her.

Disobeying completely what my judgement is telling me, I decide to wrap my arms around her body. Camila gets surprised for the gesture, but she doesn't hesitate to embrace me. I let her hold tight to my hoodie and hide her face between my neck and my shoulder. Camila's sobs make my chest hurt. In spite of everything that is happening right now, the sensation of having her here makes me feel okay somehow.

"Tell me you love me." I beg weakly.

"I love you." Camila replies sobbing.

"Tell me he is nothing for you, Camz." My voice shakes.

"Nothing, absolutely nothing." I break or embrace to hold her face tenderly, my spine shivers at the touch of her cold skin, bathed in tears. Her gaze looks for mine and that's all it takes for me to surrender.

I kiss her. The amount of feelings, that I have been holding, seem to escape throughout the kiss. It is passionate, aggressive, and at the same time sweet. I know she doesn't deserve my forgiveness just yet, but I've been graving for her lips for so long. How could I ever think about leaving Camila?

She surrounds my neck with her hands and contributes to deepen the eagerly kiss. I've lost control over my own emotions, she makes me lose my self control every single time.

The minutes pass by, but we don't move. I don't know for we stayed there, kissing like there's no tomorrow. All I know is that a million years wouldn't be enough to erase Camila's lips from my heart. Neither of us seem to want to go anywhere else.

"If you do something like that again, I doubt I'ma be able to handle it." I finally confess when the lack of air forces me to break slightly apart.

"It won't happen again, I swear." Her fingertips dry my lonely tears and the travel down to my mouth, where she delineates the shape of my lips delicately. "I'm sorry I made you pass through this, I know I don't deserve you, but I also know that no one will ever love you like I do."

Camila's POV

We go back home. I notice my nose is completely frozen and I can almost swear it is as red as Rudolph's. Lauren has become an essential part of my life, I cannot imagine what would I have done if she hasn't given me a second chance. Therefore, I won't let her down again. Lauren needs to see how much she means to me and I'm going to work hard on showing her.

"Laur, so between you and Sarah.... There's nothing?" I ask shyly.

"Not even by mistake." Lauren replies while opening the door. We finally let the cold behind us and my hands start to recover some sensibility.

"All right, Lo?" I risk to ask, already knowing lots of things aren't. Lauren stops in the middle of the stairs and I wait for her only one step ahead. Seems like we were lucky, because it's already snowing. "I mean, between us."

"I guess, but it's not that simple, Camz." She says softly, only above a whisper. "Anyways, I need to sleep and organize my thoughts. Sleep tight."

"No goodnight kiss?" I let out unintentionally. Lauren smiles slightly and pulls me closer, her hands grab my waist gently. I stare into her eyes, trying to figure out if I can actually kiss her. "Don't worry..." I mumble after a long silence and she looks down, giving me the opportunity to kiss her forehead.

I understand her perfectly. Even though all I want is to return time and fix my mistakes, now I gotta face them and wait until Lauren is ready to fully forgive me. Besides, I deserve what is happening, I just wish Lauren didn't have to suffer as well.

I walk to my room alone and without turning the lights on I lie down.

"I love her." My confession is welcomed by the protection of the darkness. 

Turns out, I'm unable to sleep tonight. Finally telling the truth took a weight off my shoulders, but at the same time it brought a new one. Lauren has a marvelous heart which doesn't deserve to be sad. The night is scary, at least for me it is always the time when reality hits me, for better or for worse. Lauren changing her mind is a possibility that won't be able to assimilate . I am nervous about seeing her again because the future looks so complicated.

To help the circumstances, I'm almost sure I've a fever, maybe produced by my anxiety or stress or both. I move from one side of the bed to the other, trying to be comfortable, however right now that's beyond impossible. Love is leaving me with almost none hours of sleep.

My room's door opens slowly and I raise my head to see a familiar shape.

"Camz?" Lauren whispers. "Are you awake?"

"Yes, are you?" I shake my head when I hear my own question. A brief guffaw escapes from Lauren's mouth and I sit up and stay in silence, letting her speak once again.

"I know what I want."






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Hope you like it xoxo

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