Bittersweet

A million reasons

"You actually thought I was homeless?", Mikey laughed and turned the cup in his hands a few times.

After I recognized him outside, the first thing we did, was hug.
I don't know how long we were standing in front of my apartment, arms thrown around the others body not wanting to ever let go again but after we finally let the other go, we went inside and I decided to make Coffe for the both of us.
Now we were sitting on my kitchen table, the atmosphere slightly awkward (I mean what are you supposed to talk about when you haven't seen each other in years?) Until Mikey finally decided to break the silence.

"Yes I actually did", I giggled and nibbled on a cookie I took from the box that sat between us on the table.

"I don't know if I should be offended", my brother mocked and made me laugh.

Silence spread between us again and I began to shift awkwardly on my chair whilst trying to find something to talk to, when suddenly Mikey sighed.

I looked up and saw him staring directly at me

"I missed you, you know Gee?", he asked and I could only nod
"I missed you too, baby brother"

"But uhm... there's a reason why I tried to find you, Gee. I don't know how to say it though", now Mikey looked away, a sign of clear distress

"Just say it, Mikey. It must be important when you came all the way to see me", I said and put my hand on his and squeezed it trying to help him relax.

He looked down and smiled a bit before he squeezed my hand back

"O...kay I guess I should just say it straight away. Mom is... she's dead"

I frowned.
She's dead?

"When did it happen?", I asked not taking my hand from his grasp

"A few months ago. The funeral already took place. I'm so sorry Gee I really wish you could have been there but I couldn't find you I mean you were gone for so many years and I'm impressed that I found you NOW I really tried Gee but I just didn't know where to start I'm so sor-...", Mikey rambled and i had to interrupt him

"Hey, it's okay Mikes. I understand. Don't worry about it.", I smiled at him and saw him nod slightly.

"I'm still sorry. I'm sure Mom would have loved to have you there", he said

"I don't really think so, Mikes. Mom hated me. You know it just as much as I do"
Mikey's head snapped up and he shook his head
"No, Gee. I know she threw you out but during the last years she always said how much she regrets this decision. She missed you and she was scared of you being mad at her. And she was sorry. I'm sure about that. You couldn't know but she was very ill and I think she knew that she'd die soon."
He spoke fast and loud as if to actually convince me that the woman that kicked me out when I was still a teenager because of my sexuality loved me somehow.

I sighed "it's really nice of you to tell me those things. I'm not mad at her or something even though she made my life harder than necessary. She is still my mother. Was? I'm not sure what to say... you said she was ill, Mikes. Was that the reason for her death?"

My baby Brother nodded "She had brain cancer. The doctors couldn't say what had caused this because nobody in the family has ever had cancer. We all knew she wouldn't have that long"

I drowned the last sip of coffe from my mug and stood up.
I went around the table and pulled Mikey into a hug.
"I'm sorry Mikes. I wasn't as close to her as you were. Thank you for taking care if her when I couldn't"
I placed a kiss on his hair before pulling away again.

He smiled warmly at me
"Don't make me cry you idiot", he said and handed me his mug, "get me some more Coffe and tell me how your life has been without me so far"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was already late when we both finished our lifetime stories.

I found out a lot about Mikey.
He still lived in our Hometown and he had a lovely girlfriend called Alicia. He told me that he actually thought about proposing to her.
His job at a comic book store was going well.

I was really happy to see my brothers life going so well. He deserved it.

When it came to me I could only tell him boring office stories.
But I promised him to introduce him to Ray and Pete as soon as possible.
And of course I had to tell him about Frank.

"Please WHAT? You mean... THAT Frank? Iero?!", Mikey practically screamed when I mentioned his name.

I could only nod.

"What the fuck is he doing here I thought he lived in Colorado or something", Mikey frowned.

"Apperently not...", I sighed, "and he already ruined the chance of a date for me"

Mikey looked confused so I told him about Bert and how he asked me on a date. And about how Frank just stepped up and ruined everything

"Oh I'm so sorry, Gee. That Bastard when I see him I'm going to-...."

"No Mikey just leave it. We're adults now. We shouldn't act like kids anymore"
"But he is doing the same!", he tried to defend himself

"That doesn't matter. Leave him be. He doesn't deserve the attention", I sighed.

"Well... I have to say that it's in fact pretty funny you know... you two... on an blind date", Mikey tried to hide his smirk behind his mug but of course I saw it.

"You're such an idiot", I laughed and hit him several times with a pillow, "but yes you're right it is... somehow... funny"

Before Mikey could say something else I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.
I apologised to Mikey and tugged it out of my jeans before I looked at the screen.
I had a new message

To: Gerard Way
From: Unknown Number
Hey it's Bert. I wanted to know if you're still interested in going out with me on Wednesday

I gasped and turned the screen to Mikey to show him the message.
"Seems like Frank didn't ruin it after all", he smiled and I couldn't help but grin at that.
I was so relieved that Bert didn't let Frank influence him so I typed my reply as fast as I could

To: Bert McCracken
From: Gerard Way
Of course I am! I'm really excited. I'll see you at work tomorrow

A few seconds later I got another text

To: Gerard Way
From: Bert McCracken
I'll see you tomorrow! xo

It would be a lie if I said that my heart didn't flutter when I saw the "xo" at the end of the message.

I decided to not reply to that (I don't want to seem too desperate) and instead spend the rest of the night with my baby brother, that I missed all those years.