Fade Into Me

Chapter 18

Katherine

I picked up some stones and tossed it in the lake.

I decided to stay at the cabin Margaret left me before she passed away. She was like a second mom to me. She took me in when my mother passed away. Months before I moved into the city, she too passed away, living me with this cabin.

I didn't tell Jasmine where I was going, because I know she'd only tell Dylan where I am, and I don't think I'd have the strength to push him away again and do what I think is best for all of us.

I was so close to giving in and being selfish, but I can't hurt his family and... I shook my head at myself. Either way I'm being selfish. I don't want to tell him and Lia the truth not only because I don't want to cause an upheaval in their lives, but also because I don't want Dylan to look at me differently. I just know that once he learns the truth about who I really am, it would change things. He wouldn't be able to bare looking at me, because I'm going to be a constant reminder of what his entire family suffered in the hands of my father and uncle.

I buried my face in my hands and cried.

This is my punishment. Not being able to be with the man I love. Being alone for the rest of my life. I deserve this.

I deserve this because I'm selfish and I betrayed my own mother. I made a promise to her and I'm turning my back on that promise only because I can't have the man I love despise me.

I shook with tears.

I don't know... Other people may think I'm making a big mistake or that I'm being stupid, but this is what I believe is right. It's what's best for a lot more people, than its best for some people, if I tell them the truth.

I have to do what I believe is right. At least for now.

Lia is happy.

She has a family.

She has a life.

I know that i'll only cause her pain and her world will turn upside down once I tell her the truth. She'll be angry. Confused. I can't do that to her. To her family. To her kids.

I sat on the rocks, pulled up my knees, wrapped my arms around my knees and rocked myself back and forth, trying to find comfort within myself and my surroundings.

Tormenting memories flashed through my mind.

Dylan...

His high handedness, humour, gentleness, sexy eyes, his kisses, the way he holds my hand... It's only been a couple of days yet, it feels like it's been an eternity. All I do is cry and wish things were different.

How long will this feeling of agony last?

"Tell me something..." A familiar voice suddenly said, causing me to gasp in surprise. Dylan. I would recognize his voice anywhere. Or did I imagine that? Maybe I've been missing him so much that I'm hearing his voice.

I turn to my side and looked up and found Dylan standing there in front of me.

"Tell me something, sweetheart," he said again. "Or you can ask me the questions that are causing you despair. I'll put them to rest."

I was breathing hard, trying not to burst into tears.

He knows me so well...