Fade Into Me

Chapter 19

Katherine

I kissed Dylan back with everything I am, though at first, I was a little hesitant, but I just felt this overwhelming love for this man, that words any describe.

I slid my hands around his neck and deepened the kiss.

Rush of heat flooded me, making me breathless and weak in the knees. We kissed hungrily, exploring each other. Dylan's hands moved down my back, as he pulled me tighter against him, and at the same time, as if he was trying to hold me all at once.

I felt a shiver run down my spine, causing me to gasp softly. I could feel my own heart beating wildly in my chest, wanting to explode.

I found my fingers sliding through his hair, closing around it. Tugging. Needing and wanting more.

God... How can so much love exist?

I love this man so much, and the fact that I'm keeping something from him is killing me. But I don't want to lose him. I just want this moment with him.

Then I realized, I could lose him any time, because I'm on borrowed time. I knew this wasn't forever when I decided to accept his love.

How can I keep him forever when I'm lying to him?

Before I knew it, Dylan pulled back, and by that time, I didn't even know that I had tears rolling down my cheeks.

I blinked a few times.

His breathing was ragged, his eyes intense, but there was also concern and worry in his eyes.

"Hey... What's wrong?" He asked, as he wiped the tears that escaped my eyes.

I shook my head. "I just love you so much. I never thought I could love someone this much," I said through my tears.

"I love you too," he said, huskily.

I smiled.

I pulled his head down towards me and kissed him.

We didn't end up having dinner. We ended up laying down next to each other in front of the fire place, wrapped in each other's arms.

We didn't need words. We just knew.

Now, here I am looking up at him sleeping.

Why am I so damn weak? Why can't
I just tell him the truth?

There's been a constant battle in my head. I want to tell him the truth, but I know I would hurt him and he won't be able to look at me the same. And Lia... she'll be devastated. And if I don't, I'm continuously living a lie. I'm lying to Dylan, even if it is, a lie of omission. It's still a lie. I don't want hurt him and his family. I don't want to lose him. After they find out the truth, how can they still want me to be a part of their family's lives?

How will they be able to look at me?

I'll only be a constant reminder of the tragedy that happened in their family.

I placed my hand over my mouth as I tried to silence my sobs.

I removed my hand over my mouth and gently touched his face.

There maybe a lot that I can't tell Dylan, but I can still tell him something. Something that isn't a lie and isn't far from the truth.