Officer 284. [Ziall Mpreg]

Is This It?

--

It was 2am. Tyler was screaming his head off, waiting for his Daddy to come and feed him. It had only been a week since Niall had brought Tyler home and he was already struggling. Having to wake up every morning at 2 was weighing him down, still struggling with his depression Niall was finding it hard to cope. Especially with a baby, and Harry had also moved back in with Louis. But in all honesty Niall didn't blame him for leaving a house containing a depressed 20 year old and a week old baby.

Niall wandered into Tyler's room, removing him from the cot and preparing a bottle for the baby. Niall fed it to him, before putting him back to bed and going to his own room, falling back onto the bed sighing out in pain. He drifted into a restless sleep as usual.

When Niall had woke up, it was 7am, he had a smashing headache and he just felt overall horrible. Luckily Tyler was still sleeping, but Harry and Louis were stopping by for a visit at about 8 before Harry had to go to work. So Niall had some time alone. Usually, time to yourself is a good thing and most people enjoy it. But not Niall, no not at all. When Niall was alone (which was quite often) he let his thoughts eat at him. Tugging in the back of his mind. All the bad things all there at once trying to bring him down. The weight of everything, losing Zayn, sever depression and having a baby. Niall just felt weak, almost like he wanted to end everything. Wait, not almost like he wanted to, he did want to. In fact he wanted to right now. He was finally going to commit.

Niall gathered some paper and a pen, figuring he should at least leave Harry a note for when either he or Louis were to find him later when they stopped by. And maybe he'd write a note for Tyler too, yeah for when he was older. He started with Harry's.

Harry,

I'm sorry.
I'm so fucking sorry.
I just couldn't take this anymore. I'm such a failure.
I'm worthless.
I'm fat.
I'm ugly.
Overall I'm just a massive letdown.

By this time you've probably already found me. Please don't try to save me, that's not what I want.

As for Tyler, if you want, you can take care of him for me. It'd mean a lot. And I'm sorry for just dropping it on you all of a sudden. I guess no one really saw this coming, well I did actually. I always knew this depression was slowly killing me.

Oh and there's a letter for Tyler too, maybe you could give it to him when he's older, asking for his real daddy, maybe 6 or 7.

But I guess this is goodbye.

Nialler x

Now for Tyler's letter. Of course Niall felt bad leaving his week old son without his daddy, with no parents for that matter, but Niall just didn't want to be alive any longer.

Tyler,

Hey baby boy. So I guess your wondering what happened to your daddy by now hey? Well sometimes people just get really sad, me being one of them. And they just can't take it anymore so they want to die. And well they try to die, like me.

No matter what I will always love you so much. Daddy Zayn and I will always be watching you from heaven, and if he met you too I'm sure he'd be attached to you.

Make sure you keep out of trouble, stay safe Ty.

Daddy Ni. xox

Niall folded the two letters neatly placing them on his bed, right next to where someone would find him in about half an hour. Niall said a quick goodbye to his sleeping son, placing a small kiss in the baby's forehead. Before gathering his sleeping pills and some razors.

Niall placed about ten small white pills in the palm of his hand examining them, then swallowing them one by one. Niall knew that they would take about 10 minutes to set in, so he grabbed his blade and started angrily at his wrists. Slicing long, deep lines into his scarred skin. The thick red blood dripping out onto the bed and running down his arm. Niall didn't stop, by now he had filled up his whole forearm with fresh bloodied cuts. And Niall was getting dizzy, his vision becoming blurry.

Was this finally it? Was he finally getting out of this horrible life?Sure there was good parts to Niall's fucked up life. But he could only see the bad things, as there were more bad than good things in his life.

Niall fell back, hitting his head on the wooden headboard of the bed in the process. He lay unconscious, waiting for someone to find him there. Hopefully dead.

--

Harry had his own key to Niall's flat, so after knocking about five times and getting no answer he decided he'd let he and Louis in himself. When he stepped inside everything was quiet. But not the normal quiet, usually Niall would be up by now. Harry wandered into Niall's room. Pushing open the squeaky door he peered inside. His heart nearly falling to the floor with what he saw. An unconscious Niall laying there, cuts all the way up his lower arm a bruise on his head and very shallow breathing.

"Louis. Call the ambulance." Harry whispered shakily, unsure of his voice. Harry ran into Tyler's room, and was thankful to see him awake and smiling. He left the baby in the cot, remembering there was a note or two on the bed next to Niall's body, he had to get them.

Harry sat down on the floor in Tyler's room. Reading over the note addressed to him. He'd red it over 15 times still trying to process what Niall had written. Harry couldn't believe Niall thought all that stuff about himself. Because everyone who'd even met Niall would disagree with everything Niall had said about himself. Everyone thought he was brilliant. Everyone but Niall.

Eventually the paramedics had come, they took Niall's motionless body away. And all Harry could do was pray that his best friend would be alright.

A/N: ooohhhh cliffhanger! ;) haha sorry, {don't worry though, I assure you all will be okay (maybe) hehe} May I just say thanks for all the support on this fanfic so far. I reached 1k reads, and when I saw the last chapter had reached twenty votes I was so surprised! Xx so thank you.

I will try to update as soon as possible :)

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Bye Chickens! Xx