Hallelujah

Chapter 39.

Josh' p.o.v

I stumbled into the hospital, rushing up to the information desk to see what room tyler was in. Guilt fell over me with each step that I took there and I felt like complete shit. I reached the front, slamming my hands down to grab the women's attention. I could tell i starled her because her eyes grew big along with the jump that came with it.

"Can i help you sir?" She said in an sarcastic tone.

"Yea actually you can. I'm here to see my boyf-, I mean my friend. His name is tyler. Tyler Joseph".

She looked at me with a confused remark, but proceeded to type the name into the computer to find his information. As she was clicking through and typing a few more things in, she looked at me.

"He's on the sixth floor, room 610. Knock before you go in. I don't know the condition of him at the mom-"

"Thank you!". I ran to the nearby elevator and rapidly clicked the button so it could open. When it did, a flood of sick, disgusting people came flowing out. I pushed through them and clicked the close button, also hitting the number six. With everything second that was going by, I felt guilty. I'm the reason he's here, that he had to fight that battel by himself. If it wasn't for my careless descions and a lack of heart, we wouldn't be in this situation.

The elevator made a ringing noise and the doors opened. I walked out to see the location of where I was at. The lower numbers of the sixth floor were on the right, and the bigger numbers were on the left. I ran into the direction of the low and seemed to run all the way down to the hallway where 610 was located. I stared at the white numbers plastered on the blue frame. Nervousness liberated my body. I didn't know what to expect or how to expect him. But I threw it behind and opened the door slowly. The noise of beeping machines and and vibration filled the small room. It was very dim to the blinds being drawn closed. The only light that somewhat filled the room was a small light beaming over Tyler's bed.

He illuminated the darkness that I felt inside. I felt a sigh of relief as I seen his chest full with air, and leave as he repaeated the motions. Salty water stung at my eyes as I began to move to his bed. His left arm was covered with bandages, small amounts of dried blood trickled on it. His skin was so, so pale with no life gleaming in it. Chords of fluids were stuck into his arm and in the creases of both, making sure that he didn't loose any as he was recovering. I couldn't bare to look at him. But this was tyler. This was my life. The only reason that I found purpose in living and breathing. And I've screwed all this up, screwed us up.

I pulled up a chair that had a jacket laying in it. I figured it was his mom's since the smell of women's perfume filled my nostrils. I placed it on a nearby closet door and scooted closer to tyler, carefully picking up his hand and kissing his white knuckles. All of this was happening to fast. I felt like I rushed into this without actually figuring out tyler. But with all the time that we shared together, I thought I knew him enough. The warm tears trailed down my face as his hand felt so limp in mine. So lifeless. I just hopped that everything would turn out fine, and that he would wake up.

"Josh? What are you doing here?". A fimailar voice interrupted my thoughts making me jump in my seat. I looked over to the door, seeing Tyler's mom painfully standing at the door. She looked so tired and full of fear. She was still in her scrubby clothes so that only told me she found him after work or whatever.

"I-I came to see tyler. He wasn't answering his phone when I was calling, and by time I got to his house to find him, I'm guessing you already brought him here. I knew he was in trouble when I saw the pool of blood on the floor and sink. What did he do?" I asked, scared for the answer back.

"What do you think?". She rolled her eyes and pulled up the seat beside me, breathing her horried breath into my face.

"He cut himself way to deep. Lost a good amount of blood, and now we're here"

"How long did it take for you to get home? He could've died if he lost alot! Do you not care?" I lightly yelled. Her action's were pissing me off so badly.

"I told him that I don't want anymore of his problems in my life, and I meant that. He should be happy I even called 911". She got up and took her shoes off, walking over to the window and setting them there. My blood boiled with anger as she showed no affection towards him. I stood up, ready to take the challenge.

"You know, Tyler was right about you. You're nothing but a classless bitch who dosen't deserve such an amazing kid like tyler. He dosen't even deserve me after what I've done, but that doesn't matter. You're missing so much because you think you know him. You think yo-"

"SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!". Her voice echoed like we were in a cave. She grabbed at her hair and slid down the wall, the years and pain of all these years flowing oh of her. I would've walked over to her, but she deserved no pitty from anyone. Her sobs grew louder and louder as she whined for Tyler to wake up.

"I never meant for him to be the w-way that he is. It's all m-my fault. I should've been there m-more for him. I'm just a worthless mother who dosen't deserve anything. I-I can't do this". She said.

With the amount of tears that fell from her eyes, I couldn't tell if she we putting on a show for her own amusement or what. I didn't know who to trust now. The only thing we both seemed to want was for Tyler to wake up. It felt like he's been him for so long. And I don't know if I can do this either. But as of right now, for him, I had to put on a strong face.

"I'm not gonna disagree or agree to what you just said. And quite frankly i don't wanna belive you, but the both of us need to be here for tyler. He needs us whether he wants it or not. Listen, I love your son and I always will. He saved me from so much harm and abuses that I thought nobody could. And I feel that I've done the same for him, but I'm not gonna end this because of some stupid descion i made".

She nodded her head but didn't leave her eye contact with me. I knew she was going to ask a question, I knew she would blame me.

"What did you do? What are you talking about?" She folded her arms and stood in a bitchy postion as if she truly wanted to know.

"I took a turn down a road I didn't wnat to go back on. That's all in saying".

"Sayless. Drugs? Yea. What a great "boyfriend" you are". She once again rolled her eyes and turned her back to me, laughing at her pathetic actions.

"Please don't talk to me about being something that's great. You are far opposite of great lady".

She truly felt like a waste of time for me. I didn't come here to her. I came for tyler. And at this moment, I needed him more than anything.

"Well let me tell you something kid. When Tyler feels better and is suitable to go home, I don't want you being around him. At all. You've done enough damage!"

"Y-you can't do that?" I laughed.

"He will want to see me"

"That's what you think. But I'm not letting it happen".

W: just a couple more chapters and this book will almost be over. What ah rise it's been... sorry for mistakes!