Listen Before You Speak

Chapter 13

Dedicated to the ones who fight, even when it seems an impossible feat. 

Home is where the heart is. That's what they say. I wasn't so sure about that. Because that would make me homeless at the moment. There was nothing about my house to make it a home. Don't get me wrong. I loved my mom, but only when she wasn't under my dad's influence. He changed her. He made her hate me and want to get rid of me and talk me down every chance she got. Probably what he needs to do. Maybe it's his way of making sure that I would never be able to trust of feel comfortable enough with my mom so that I would trust her with my secrets. I might have done the same thing if I was him. Maybe he didn't even care about himself. Maybe he was just as worried about the trouble I would get into if anybody found out. I helped him cover everything up. I went mute. I was the cause of everything. Maybe it was my fault that he changed. He wasn't always like this. There was a time a long time ago, almost before I care to remember where this house had been a home. Where the roof was not leaking, and the paint wasn't peeling from the walls. There was a time when money was not that big of a problem and things went well. It wasn't that way anymore, and it was all because of me.

"Where the hell have you been?!"

I heard him before I saw him, and I'm sure if I tried hard enough there would have been a scent of whiskey or beer that I would smell before I even heard him.

"Out," I mumbled. I didn't feel like getting into a fight or explaining myself. I wanted to get up to my room and allow myself to drown out the pain with my music screaming from the walls.

"What did you say?!" my dad yelled.

"Elijah?" It was my mom. She came from the kitchen. And then...

I was in her arms before I had any time to react.

"Never do anything like that to me ever again. I have never been so worried in my life."

There were tears, but I could see him over her shoulder and he wasn't done with me yet.

"Why did you do it Elijah? What happened?" she asked.

I decided not to lie.

"Something happened at school and I needed to clear my head," I mumbled. I could see him behind her. He did not believe a single word I said.

"But why didn't you at least let me know?" Tears were still streaming down her face, but I could see that there was something in her that believed me. Even if it was only because I was safe and back home.

"I just needed to get away for a while," I answered. I didn't feel like saying anything else.

My mom let go of me and looked me in the eyes, even brushing my hair out of my eyes, as to make that I was looking her in the eyes.

"Promise me that you will never do that ever again. If you feel the need to disappear I want to know where you disappear to and how long you are going to be. Promise me."

"I promise," I mouthed, but hardly any sound came out. It was like I saw something inside her that I recognized. A mother's love.

"Now go and clean up. Dinner will be ready soon," she said as she wiped away the tears that took homage on her cheeks and attempted a smile toward me.

I didn't wait for a second invitation. I got the hell out of dodge before my dad could say another word. According to me everything was sorted out now. This was my mom's house. She had the last say. And even if I knew it wasn't true I needed to tell myself that it was. I needed to believe that this was the end of all the trouble that has been happening since I met Blake. Come to think about it that was the moment everything started to go wrong for me.