Listen Before You Speak

Chapter 15

Blake only left me because his mom was calling non-stop to tell him to come home. If it wasn't for that I am sure he would've still been by my side. Maybe he would have even stayed the night. I tried to ask him about future plans, it was not like I could stay at Lucy's forever, but that was the very last thing that he seems to want to talk about. He was more interested in cuddling me and making me feel loved, but he had no idea that I actually just wanted to cut myself. I so badly wanted to get the feeling I had inside me out of me, but he made sure that I was too tired for anything by the time that he finally left. With that I was also too scared to cut myself which at Lucy. With everything so white just a drop of blood would stand out like a sore thumb. So since it seemed like Lucy wasn't going to check up on me either I crawled up to a restless night of sleep where images of blood and my father shouting filled my mind. Luckily I didn't scream myself awake, but that was only because I wasn't truly in a deep sleep either.

By the time the sun came up I was glad. In the light nothing could really hurt me anymore. The dreams would fade and make way for a new day in a new life that I never asked for, but did hope for every second of my life.

I was pulling on the same black skinnies that I was wearing yesterday when Lucy barged into the room. I struggled with a zipper that wasn't even up to grab a shirt, but Lucy had already fallen down on the bed.

"Shouldn't you be in school?" I asked as I calmly pulled a long sleeve shirt in dark grey over my head. There was no point in rushing it now. She had probably already seen my scars.

"Nope. Mom is away at a spa for three days, so I can do pretty much whatever I want," Lucy smiled as she turned on her back to look at the ceiling, allowing me a few seconds of privacy to zip up my jeans.

"How did you and Blake become friends?" I just had to ask. I needed to know the whole story. Their mom's being friends just wasn't enough for me.

"He was a broken little bird once. I nursed him back to health," Lucy said, still not taking her eyes of the ceiling.

"What do you mean?" My face must've looked like a question mark when she glanced over at me.

"Listen. Maybe you should ask your boyfriend okay? I have known him for years, and I don't want to fuck up the loyalty I have going with him."

"But he was the new kid at school..." I was confused now.

"He was just away for a while. A long while. Now, leave it at that and let's go shopping!" Lucy said as she flew of the bed.

"But..."

"I told you I'm not talking about Blake anymore. So let's go shopping," she snapped.

I actually wanted to tell her that I didn't have money for shopping and that I really needed some down time after all I have been through in the past week, but she was just not giving a damn as I had to run after her, walking at a fast pace, loudly talking about a cute little top that she saw in a little boutique and regretting not getting it.

"...totally one of a kind. And it might be gone by the time we get there. But I just didn't have the time to go into the shop last time. I was running late for cheerleading practice and such," Lucy continued, but I had no idea what she was really saying.

With the morning sun spilling into the house I looked at it in new awe. It was truly like being in a palace where everything was just beyond perfect.

"...and then we could go and see a movie and maybe grab some lunch at La Petite Paris on the way back. We should also really stop to see Gee, because I have a huge favor to ask her, and what is up with that hair of yours?"