Jazs's Journal

August 8th, 2016

I've always saw myself as a bullet proof soul. But then again I'm also very contradicting when it comes to that. I think we all want to be strong and want to be someone who is made of steel. As calm and positive as I am ..I can be angry and Negative. I am sweet and down the earth but I can be mean and raising hell.. I'm human and that's just who I am.
I am someone who has many sides to them. I can control myself but I've grown to understand that I have to accept myself. I get hurt , I cry , I get happy and I smile. I feel as though we think we have to be one way 24/7 , that's not realistic . My poetry & music tell what goes on in my soul , I can talk about it but who wants to talk to someone about issues that we all seem to develop.
One minute I'm clean and everything needs to be tidy and one minute I'm messy and I don't care what my rooms or house looks like. Not in the sense of mood swings but more of just who I am in that moment . I am forever changing .
I've had my heart broken , I've had it fixed , I've been in pain and I've felt relief . No one can say that these are the wrong emotions .. Emotions dictate who you are , and I just so happen to be easily messed with . I am sensitive but I am strong . I am strong because I know myself and whatever happens I can handle that pain .. Being strong isn't guarding your emotions, being strong getting through the pain from those emotions (whatever life brings to you)
As I said and I will always say , I need change , I need constant stimulation because I am easily bored. Bored with the moment and often bored with life .