the model

thirty one

I immediately pulled my hand back towards my body and caressed like it was a baby. "Fuck." I cursed.

"Fucking hell!" Louis yelled, grabbing his face. "What the fuck, Alexis?!"

Even though I'm furious with him, Louis saying my name still sends chills up my arms. I took a deep breath.

"Don't you 'what the fuck' me. 'What the fuck' you! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I yelled back, my hands flying up and down frantically as I spoke.

Louis had stumbled back when I punched him and a foot was of space was in between us. I raised my fist again, level with my head, looked at Louis and then dropped it. I sighed and walked to the couch. 

I planned on sitting down but walked right past it and back towards Louis. "You know what I can't get through my mind?" I whispered. 

"You mean through your thick skull?" Louis sassed. 

I took a deep breath and didn't comment on his statement. "I can't get why, in the fucking world, couldn't you just say something like, "Hey so I think I can do this on my own now so I don't think I need you as much as I did before but I appreciate you helping me.'" I shrugged my shoulders in an 'I don't know' type of way. 

"It would've been so much easier and so much less painful. Don't you think?" I cocked my head to side and looked Louis straight in the eyes. 

Those blue eyes were dull and translucent. Nothing like I've seen the past few days. The spark, what gave them life, were gone. It was similar to the color of his eyes the day I met him. 

I chuckled, "Do you remember the day we met?" 

"Yeah," Louis quickly said, "you wouldn't close the fucking door and then threatened to shave my head! I could've gotten you fired, you know?" 

I ignored him and looked past him. My eyes focusing on the door behind him as the memories of the first time we met flooded my head. "I remember looking into the mirror and seeing your tattoo," I lightly touched his collar bone, "and how it said 'it is what it is.' And then I saw your smiley face tattoo and even though I practically hated your guts, I found that one of my favorites." 

As I laid my finger on his t-shirt, I felt him tense underneath my fingertip. Like he wasn't expecting me to do anything like this. "I never really liked models and meeting you kind of gave me a reason to not like them more. You've proven to me everything I've assumed or thought of is true. But then I met David and he proved to me that not all models are like you. Not all of them are selfish pricks." My voice grew louder. 

"I learned that the only asshole in this whole building is you. Not all of the people in here are as infuriating as you. There are genuinely nice people here, Louis, and I wish that you would have been somewhat nice to them so their niceness could rub off on you. Because God knows you need some."

"I can be nice!" He interjected. "I've been so fucking nice to you for the past few weeks!"

"Yes, Louis, I know!" I raised my voice above his. "But that shit you just said, the shit you just 'pulled off,' that shit outweighs all of the nice you've been. You showed me that you can be nice, that you can be an actual human fucking being who's considerate about others, that underneath the tough exterior there's a nice guy and underneath that nice guy there's even a bigger asshole there." I inhaled deeply from the lack of breaths I took while speaking. 

"Oh, great!" He threw his hands in the air and walked away from me before turning around. "Now I'm an asshole? I'm an asshole, Alexis?" 

"Yeah, if you haven't noticed, you kind of are! You were an asshole when I first met you and you're an asshole now. Where have you been the past few weeks?" I snarled.